Friday, December 26, 2008

This Christmas - Part IV

PART IV

There was an immediate connect between the two of them.. Communication is as stimulating as black coffee; and its just as hard to sleep after.. that is the perfect description of the experience the two of them had for the following two weeks... she could speak to him like she could to no other.. and of course the feeling was mutual... there was no dependency derivative of the way their emotions were characterised for each other...

and she wondered was it a mere coincidence that she met him?? or was it a celestial conspiracy?? or was it just one of Cupid's cruel pranks...

Christmas had gone past and the Church was back to being her haven.. but was it hers alone??? as she sat reading the last few pages of her book.. (the ones where the drama resonates and the "happy ending".. Steve quietly came by and sat beside her.. "oops i dint realise when you came" she said with a smile.. "not a long while ago.. dint want to intrude into the satisfaction of the story culminating into a happy ending" and she thought "never could you intrude"...

he waited for her to finish the book... and then he said "i want to ask you something"..
"well go on"
"have you heard the parable of the beautiful heart?" he asked..
the blankness on her face told him she hadn't.... so began telling her the story.. he couldn't have gotten more cliched she thought.. because he began "once upon a time".. it brought a smile to her face nonetheless... :)

he told her about a young man who boasted of having the most beautiful heart in the world.. it was flawless... and everyone admired it.. but then an old man walked up to him and said that he had a more beautiful heart.. the young man asked him if he was joking because his heart was full of scars and tears... and the old man explained that every scar represents the person to whom he had given his love.. and sometimes the person hasn't returned the love which is represented by the empty gouges.. which remind him of the love he has for those people.. and that is true beauty..

tears swelled up in her eyes.. and he looked to her and said.. "you have the most beautiful heart in the world.. your love is unfathomable..." he paused... took her hand and said "give me a chance.. give me a chance to love you... love you so much so as to fill all the empty gouges"....

With tears of joy she said "I do.."

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

This Christmas - Part III

PART - III

" hi.. i'm steve... i was just wondering.." she cut him in ansd asked "what"
"well i come to the Church often enough.. ive seen many people giving the beggars money.. or left over food.. but today was the first time i saw someone giving away their freshly packed lunch.."
oblivious to the fact that he was looking.. she took out her freshly packed lunch and gave it to the old lady who came to her begging for some money...

breaking the silence he said "i thought that was really sweet" she dint know what to say.. but to avoid further conversation she said a polite thank you and continued reading.. he kept looking at her.. and she continued to read pretending not to notice.. but ofcourse she couldn't concentrate on what she was reading.. she urged to tell him ,"dude why don't you just go on and mind your business"

she looked up to tell him just that.. but she looked straight into his eyes.. his brown coffee eyes.. and there was something which told her there is more to him than meets the eye.. "so what kind of books do you read??.." the conversation began.. and on it went.. suddenly realising she was late for work... and she left for work.. but not before there was the expected exchange of mobile numbers and a smiling see you soon...

to be contd...

Monday, December 22, 2008

This Christmas - Part II


PART - II

and with the smirky smile he communicated "i know what the superstition associated with the mistletoe is". and with flushed red cheeks she left.

walking to her favourite spot in vast opens of the Church..categorising the guy as the typical one moms told their darling daughters to stay away.. she sat.. as usual with her novel.. to read in peace.. but peace was elusive...

his image with that smile on his face was frozen in her mind.. she couldn't see anything beyond.. and not like that was enough to keep her distracted for atleast a week.. he walked up to her and asked if she would mind if he sat beside her.. and it was just one of the times when she couldn't say a no...

he sat there beside her.. and she continued to read her book.. with no sign to show how perturbed she was.. calm and ease were the only emotions she displayed.. and then the inevitable happened... he began a conversation...

uh thankfully it wasn't the stereotype "have we met earlier?" or "do i know you".. sweetly introducing himself he said "hi.. i'm...

to be contd...

Thursday, December 18, 2008

This Christmas???

PART - I

She had a twinkle in her eyes.. like the twinkle of the stars she loved staring at.. her motto in life was to lover never to be loved.. to give never to receive.. but she wanted love.. she was a hopelessly romantic and hopeless dreamer.. a dreamer who dreamt of the perfect fairytale in her life.. just like the ones she had read as she grew up...

it was the season of Christmas.. and she loved it.. she loved everything about it.. it was the season of sharing, caring and joy.. the time she decorated her room.. Put up a sock on the window hoping Santa would reward her for being a good girl the whole year through (that never did happen.. but she never gave up)... the Christmas tree and everything it signified..

she loved going to the Church.. her simple way of finding solace and serenity...

and habitual as it had become.. one day on the way out of the Church she stopped at the door and turned to look at the Cross.. when she turned back she saw him...with beautiful flowers in his hands and their eyes locked (it was like a scene right out of a masala Bollywood movie). He looked up with a smirky smile.. and instinctively she did too... Shocked she was to see a mistletoe there..

to be contd...

can u love me???

Can you ever love me for me..

the real me.. the true me..

with all my imperfections and fallacies...

with me as i am... not as you want me to be...

can you love me even i'm unreasonable..

when i'm stubborn

and cry without a reason??

can you ever love me for the real me

can you ever???

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Really???

the movie bug is back... my friend saw rab ne bana di jodi.. and ofcourse unlike me gave a highly negative review.. she said "Shahrukh was confused.. what did he actually want?" and very instinctively i told her he wanted the girl to fall in love with the real him...

that sparked a thought.. in this world of plastic smiles and plastic emotion.. where is the real me? the queen in snow white asked the mirror "Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" but what do i see when i try to reflect myself? who do i see?? who is the real me?? do i really exist? or am i lost in the superficial cares of the world?

quite an irony that i'm trying to find the real me considering i'm anonymous..

but i think it is a process.. the real me has just lost the way around.. but i'm sure i'll find the way out... and the rediscovery of self will start soon...

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Complexed...


Why do i find myself alone when i need support?? why do i have to weather a storm when i seek solace.. why should i manifest the truth when truth should reveal itself?? why does the society and civilisation created for security become a cause for insecurity?? why is confidence shattered like glass, becoming improbable to rebuild?? why does panic strike and one sense anxiety?? why do i find on a psychoanalysis, feeling of "the blues", melancholy, disinterestedness, apathy, boredom, indecision, hesitation and doubt??

what do you call this vague psychological problem where one has saintly humility, the will to be right,and the ability to do so, and the confidence to stand up, but belligerent argumentativeness, absence of a courageous affirmation, a fallacious attitude??

Dont look for an answer i dont know.. if i knew i would not have asked the question..

i may suffer from an inferiority complex.. but i have a superiority complex too.. because as Eleanor Roosevelt said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". And adapting from what my friend says.. i am who i am and what i am.. if you cant handle me at my worst.. you sure dont deserve at my best..

Saturday, December 13, 2008

JINXED

I'm jinxed, i sure am...
i dont why but i know i am.
rotten it is.. but thats just my luck
too much of a co-incidence to have
things all in a muck..


A superstition or a curse
or am i tempting fate???
for good things to happen late
and misfortune become my mate...

Like "Friday the thirteenth" i'm hexed too..
Leaving me not only vexed about also perplexed...
i wonder if if i'll ever be able to break the spell
and that only time will tell...







Friday, December 12, 2008

Insecure.. who me???

I finally i think i know what is wrong..

i thought its just the cyclical mood swings.. but now i guess there is more to it.. the emotional insecurity and the paranoia... the lack of unconditional love (which really is notional because i know i have parents and friends who love me for who i am, or atleast i hoping so), the feeling that my flaws are camouflaged than my redeeming qualities.. its just that period where the resilience to handle pressure has broken and the defence mechanism crumbled...

the problem has presented itself at the surface.. but what is the root of the problem?? I dont know.. or.. may be i do.. but just dont want to talk about it..

chasing the image of perfection has led to judgment and self-rejection. inspite of success there is no sense of Euphoria only the feel of "not being good enough".

it is not as if there is lack of confidence but its the inability to dissolve the "ideal image of perfection", something that has stolen the joy from little things in life.. from a hearty laughter, from a cup of coffee, from silly stupid fights.. from the brightness of my favourite flowers..

the remedies that usually work.. reading my inbox.. watching my favourite movies.. a sweet melody.. and freaky conversation... reading a book.. nothing seems to work..

but as they say and i'm sure "This too shall pass"...

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Mountain Story - An interesting short story i read

"A son and his father were walking on the mountains.Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"He receives the answer: "Who are you?"And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!"The voice answers: "I admire you!"Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"He receives the answer: "Coward!"He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention."Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"The voice answers: "You are a champion!"The boy is surprised, but does not understand.Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.It gives you back everything you say or do.Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life;Life will give you back everything you have given to it."

this is a story i read sometime back and i think it is a completely apt one to what i feel right now..

YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S A REFLECTION OF YOU!"-- Unknown Author

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

What do you do when no one sees your point of view, and even better dont even try... they way you feel natural easy and pure like sunlight from the sun... and to top it all emotional attitude being highly negative??? when you dont find a calming warming and loving influence... when sorry does not seem to take the guilt away.. when life has so much to offer but your plate is already too full...

Reality is "that which appears to be" but what appears to me does not to anyone else..

what do you do when no one agrees with your interpretations and perceptions??

when your brain is propelled with the explosion of thoughts and your heart with feelings??

when you cant communicate and be vocal??? of course no one is being receptive!!!

i know its abstract.. but.. when nothing seems to being right.. take a detour... so dont try finding me..

Friday, December 5, 2008

Did he deserve a second chance???

life does not always give a second chance... and being a victim of that myself i thought i was being nice in giving him a second chance... a chance to redeem himself and wipe away that hurt he gave.. nobody is perfect.. and to err is human.. life is too short to hold grudges.. and so i decided to forgive and move on.. start afresh.. but then history does repeat itself.. and too soon at that..
and then when i read somewhere i realised "first time shame on him, second time shame on you, for being so stupid tio let him back knowwing he'd already done it once"

and now.. i turned the page, turned the chapter and closed the book.. but the thought remains.. "did he deserve a second chance???"

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thank You...

its thanksgiving tomorrow... and i know its a very American tradition... but considering the events over the last couple of days... i think its a perfect time for me to give thanks...

Well a couple of days back... i sought shelter at a church.. shelter from the heavy rains and strong winds... standing at the church the only hymn that came to my mind was " Count your blessings, name them one by one and it will surprise you what the Lord has done"... it actually did..

its not like i was not grateful for a wonderful family and a home for solace.. but i am doubly grateful for both now... for a home where i can seek solace.. and family who i can fall back upon... parents who love me for who i am.. who put up with all my non-sense and unreasonable demands (well i've never had any) and torture (my friend claims i'm a torture :( )

and after i've thanked god for the wonderful family he's given me... its time to thank him for my friends... and six special friends at that..

the first who i know right from kindergarten... today we might be in different paths in life.. but if there is someone who i could have and can trust my life with is her.. she understands me like the back of her hand.. can understand what i never say.. if i managed to pass through my college years without too much trouble its just because of her...

the second.. my aunt.. well she got married to my uncle when i was in the second grade.. and from then to now she has always been my friend and guide.. filled the void of an elder sister.. and been there always...

the third my dumb friend who i know from kindergarten too.. but the bonds of friendship strengthened in high school.. we are mutual secret keepers :) and even if i dont speak to her in a long long time (because we have totally different routines) i know she 's always there... a truly special and cute friend...

the fourth and fifth are two little kids (well atleast according to me and i know i have support too) who are like my little baby sisters.. i totally adore them.. put with all their non-sense(or is it the other way round) i'm not too sure.. but whatever it is... they are really special... the amount they done for me is phenomenal (especially to get me out of my bad moods)

the sixth is a stupid donkey and dog of a friend... who i have no words to describe... its not really a very long time since i know him (i dont consider one year a very long period). but he's a great friend and an awesome person... who has put up all my bad jokes :P and stupid mood swings and cranky behaviour..

its a special thank you to each of these people and to all my other friends who have filled my life
with love and laughter...
HAPPY THANKSGIVING... :)

Monday, November 24, 2008

Flirting with danger???

i had this discussion cum argument with my friend over the definition of flirting.. According to him flirting can never be one-sided and is always reciprocated.. so i decided to do some research to prove my point..

i started with the definition of flirting, which happened to say that flirting is human interaction with a romantic interest.. so here goes my first point.. two people can interact with each other.. where one has a romantic interest and the other does not :P

then i looked at the origin of the word flirting, which is obscure and is attributed to the old French conter fleurette, which means the dropping of flower petals, that is, "to speak sweet nothings".. so there goes point number two... speak "sweet nothings".. one person can do the speaking.. the other may not.. :P

and then there is point number three flirting is used to as an expression of interest or gauging the other person's interest.. but you know what the other person may not be interested at all..

so what i really learnt by reading all that i did.. is that flirting may be one-sided and you may not really be interested...

Most of the times we spot the indications of flirting.. but sometimes considering it harmless we let the other person have some fun..
but unlike the law where silence does not amount to acceptance.. if you do not put a stop to that one-sided interaction which you are not interested it does amount to acquiescence...and that can turn out to be a little dangerous..

Though i think i proved my point that flirting can be one-sided.. ill remember the line my stupid friend told me last night.. "its all about how you react" because unknowingly you might send out the wrong signals...

Friday, November 21, 2008

Keep me going???

Its just one of those "off days" actually to be very precise the second "off day" in a row.. Emptiness has no words... but that's the axiom I'm trying to disprove.. trying to dissolve my emptiness in words... its becoming like a natural state of being for me these days... i know i have a family that adores me.. Friends who care... and many who appreciate... but its just that many times there is feeling that there is more "ingenuinity" around me than true love and care...

Its not about high expectations and a demanding role that has left me feeling this way.. i have always believed in age old teaching of the Bhagavad Gita

"Karmanya vadhikaraste ma phleshu kadaachanma

karmphal heturbhurma te sango astav akarmani"

which means your right is only to do your duty, and not to its fruit or result. Neither the result of your action should be your motive, nor should you become inactive.

I have always believed in it and tried my human best to practise it.. but sometimes its really difficult not to expect something in return.. and as most people would agree having expectations from someone else is asking for disappointment..

There is a cognitive dissonance in my mind about what i want to do...no desire to express what i feel, (because truly i can't) and then there is again a tug of war between the head and the heart..

for now I'm trying to remind myself to do my duty.. to love and care.. to help and share...it should keep me going at least for the time.. and when I'm in a better state of mind I'll work on my cognitive dissonance..

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Hypermetropia..... it is a long name for long sightedness.. thats how i always tried remembering that for my science exam.. but now i realize that long sightedness is not only the defect of the eye.. but many times even the defect of the mind... we look at the future.. try our very best to provide for it.. we forget that we can count the number of seeds in an apple but not the number of apples in a seed.. no one knows what the future holds..

whats the point in sitting and worrying oneself over something we have no control over.. we always see that which is close to us with a blurry vision not realizing that the happiness we are craving for is very close to us... look around yourself and you'll find...

happiness is no mystery it is here , it is now, it is you and me is....

Monday, November 17, 2008

London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

Interesting and sadly very true.

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

DOStana...

ok i know i am a really crazy hindi movie bug.. and i can watch almost any silly stupid emotional saga... and i went for dostana last night.. as most already knew.. and so did i... that its gonna be a typical Kjo candyfloss... well it in a true sense was.. what most say about the movie is that the "Kanta Ben" comedy is the crux of the story.. it is..

the movie has its element of freshness (shock value as many would call it), fun, frolic and dollops of entertainment...

But what i loved about the movie the most were two scenes... the first scene is the interval scene where ab and priyanka say their lives are not what they had dreamt and that they are losers.. driving the other two to frustration.. john says his life is perfect.. and their tears turn to smiles when he tell them that his life is perfect because he has them for friends in his life.. the scene may not touch many.. but too me it was really important... it reminded me what my friends mean to me.. how much colour they have added to my life... and just enough spice to make life perfect..


the second bit that was really touchy was the ending of the movie.. where john and ab are desparate for priyanka's forgiveness and are ready to anythin.. bobby deol challenges them to kiss each other in public.. well ya.. they did... but to me that frame had more than just the kiss.. it was the sentiment that drove them to do it.. the passion they had for that relationship of freindship.. that they discared all social boundaries.. ignored embarrasment and did what they did.. the scene may have its advocates and adverseries... but all i can say is that every realtionship should have the passion that this had..

Friday, November 14, 2008

Happy Children's Day

Childhood is all about those angelic eyes, innocent smiles.. lolipops and chocolates..the silly playfulness.. the carefree singing... the cute hugs.. meaningless fights that don't last.. the curiosity to know everything... the confidence to ask stupid questions and not feel dumb... the pure delight of a cold ice cream ticking the tongue.. the infectious laughter..those days in school.. the games hour and the after hour.. the clean and crisp uniform at the start of the day an then.... that was when life was simpler...

But as we grow up... each of these tend to fade away.. they fade away and make way for that self centered hugely boosted ego.. the stress trying to quest the pinnacles of success and glory... with no time to stand and stare at the beauty of life.. no time for near and dear ones.. that is how we made life duller..

Just a flashback to those days brings a radiant smile on most of our faces... then why have we complicated our lives to such an extent that the smile on our lips does not get reflected in our eyes..

Our life is all about our choices... why is it then that we don't make the choice to have that innocent and angelic smile.. why can't we see joys in those simple things in life??

it just reminds me of a poem i taught my little sister

WHAT is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?—

No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows:

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night:

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance:

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began?

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.


What is this life full of care??? leave yourself loose and enjoy the funfair...

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Today is the 539th birthday of Gure Nank Dev Ji the founder of the world's youngest religion.. well for most of the central government offices it was a day off... but for the followers of the religion.. it was a day huge funfair an fervour... it began with most of them offering prayers, singing songs and hymns from the Guru Granth Sahib... followed by what the kids (or atleast i love the most) the Karawah Prasad.. thats the traditional sikh sweet pudding.. and then the langar food...

Guru Nanak Ji was is a great prophet of peace. His teachings breathe the purest spirit of devotion. The love of God and the love of man were the very core of the message of Guru Nanak. We need to learn to serve the poor gently, quietly, and to have reverence for all the saints of the past. This is the first great teaching of the Guru. Guru Nanak's teachings revolutionized people in diverse ways. His teachings are of great interest today as they were in his own time.

The Guru on Babar's (the mughal king) request gave him his advise called Nasihat Nama in which he counseled ' worship God everyday and to be just and kind to everyone. The NAAM, the Sat Naam, the holy Word of God or the Kalma, was a panacea for all ills of life, here and in the hereafter.'

He founded no new sect. He revered all religions. He respected the saints of all times and places. He taught no new creed. He preached love, faith and noble deeds. For him all the people were of God. In the Hindus and in the Muslims, he saw the Vision of God in Man. In all the nations of the world, he beheld an endless procession of the race of man. To all countries and to all people, he sang the song of NAAM or the Holy Word.

Nanak was the prophet of peace and good will, harmony and unity. He was the prophet of Light and gave Light to all for seventy long years


The simplest way to pay tribute to the Guru his to follow is teachings.

Love knows no reward. It is a reward in itself. Service and sacrifice characterize love.

Do your duty.. towards your family and your community.. lead a pure and moral life.. full of noble deeds and kind words..

May the Guru's blessings be with you.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

who wants to be millionaire???

i just read this book called "the millionaires" which is apparently a thriller about how two brothers try to steal three million dollars from a bank supposedly belonging to no one... its a perfect crime... its foolproof and no one knows... but suddenly they have the American secret service and a personal investigators at their back...

as i finished the book i was thinking what most people would do in a situation like that... a situation where there is a vulnerable mix of desperation and frustration... would you steal if you would never get caught.. if you are saying no.. then what if i increased that amount of three million to thirty million or perhaps a hypothetical best three hundred million.. would you??

if you said yes.. you're being mighty honest but if you're saying NO... then im sure that's only a hypothetical NO in nine of ten cases.. because its human instinct to go for it... the fact the guilt would go into overdrive and not let you live are variables that come into play later.. but at that point of time.. the split second of a time that you have at hand.. what would you do... and no dont say you dont have the nerve to do it..

think about it.. the perfect crime.. three hundred million dollars.. all in the taking... to bring freedom from all the financial misery... i would have fallen for it!!! would you have???

Monday, November 10, 2008

Monday morning blues...

Garfield hates Monday mornings.. so do i.. and so do most people... maniac Monday morning blues has affected most people since ages... but this Monday was not the usual Monday morning blues.. it had nothing to do with dragging myself to work... or that there was a whole week to work... this Monday was bluer than usual...

and don't ask me why.. because i don't know... it was not lack of sleep.. or a mount of pending work.. it was something else.. something was wrong.. but i could not really point a finger at it... it left me stressed out... stressed out right at the start of the week... and to top it all.. my schedule started with the work i hate the most.. but having no choice i went about doing it...

uh.. i finished up earlier than usual.. and then i decided it was time to bust the stress... plugging in my head phones.. i took my bike and sped off... twenty kms and an hour later.. i felt much better... much better about myself and the whole world around me... not completely stress free... but at least I'm no longer going to snap at someone and then regret it... its really amazing what some good music and a nice bike ride in a beautiful background with some chilly weather can do to our mood...

Sunday, November 9, 2008

yesterday my life was duller.. now everything is technicolour...:)

Is there a science that can deal with the physical and metaphysical forces of the environment to make it peaceful and harmonious??? my office landlord definitely thinks so...

when he decided to get the exteriors of the building painted there was a rush of excitement in all of us.. Colours are the most powerful in influencing human mind and body...of course.. considering the boring the building we entered into everyday.. the very thought of a nice bright building excited us...that too considering the present day scenario where you have colour palletes that you can almost fall in love with... we though were in for a surprise.. whether pleasant one or otherwise we'll find out soon...

the topic in discussion at office was the colour that the landlord would chose... and there was shock number one.. parrot green.. well shocking as it was that was not all.. only a part of the building was done before we started seeing buckets of other colours coming.. believe it or not.. he brought in a variety of colours... he has painted every single cm of the exteriors...ranging from that parrot green to the "mithai pink" and cyan blue and process yellow... well the list goes on and one... that is when we thought that he was over obsessed with the rainbow... i don't think i can over exaggerate.. but the building now has possibly a shade of all colours including the ones missing on the rainbow..

on a lighter note though i bet soon the most popular time pass to kill work stress is going to be the childish "colour, colour which colour do you choose??"

the excitement has all died down.. we are all sulking back to work... with a though is change really good???

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Yours or mine????

"its my perception, what is your problem?" i'm sure most of us would be guilty of having used the phrase mostly out of sheer frustration... and ten out of ten times we think we are right... but is that always the case?? are we always right.. its humorous enough to say "the only time i was wrong was the time i thought i was wrong" but that's not reality... each person is entitled to their opinion and their views.. it's how they perceive a particular situation or person...

if each person is entitled to such freedom of perception then isn't it our duty to respect this freedom... well.. of course it is.. but what do you do when two people have significantly different perceptions of the same situation.. different feelings and different emotions???

Most of the time we argue just to prove that our perception is right... there is a famous Buddhist parable which goes like this "two students argued and argued about their understanding of a lesson the teacher had taught in class, they finally decided to let the teacher judge who is right and who is wrong. the first student explained to the teacher what his understanding of the lesson was, and teacher said he was right.. the first student left the room with a triumphant expression on his face... the second student then explained his understanding.. and the teacher said that he was right too.. he also left the room feeling victorious... a third student who had seen what happened asked the teacher how could both of them be right when each had contradicting views.. the teacher told him that he too was right..."

Well we might have different, in fact opposing perceptions to same situation.. but the trick is to understand that the other person's perception is as important to him as yours is to you..

Thursday, November 6, 2008

who will win the tug of war?? the head or the heart???

she had to choose... choose between the devil and the deep blue sea... she was confused.. should she listen to the logic of the head or the longing of heart... what should she do when both are pulling her apart... pulling her apart in different directions... the head with sound and practical logic and her heart with truthfully emotional reasoning.. she thought and thought.."People are governed by the head; a kind heart is of little value in chess" but is life a game of chess???
"the heart is wiser than the intellect" but is it really??? can u rely on the judgment of your heart even if logic and caution tell you otherwise?? she moved in circles.. never really knowing where she was going.. confused, indecisive and very very tearful..

She pondered, visualised and kept her cool.. she thought and analysed.. weighed pros and cons.. but solution was no where in sight..

and then she read somewhere... Follow your heart.. but. listen to your head... and at that instance she thought everything was crystal clear... was she right??? she doesn't know.. and mark my words.. she won't find out very soon either...

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Her First Crush

There is an old an well-heard saying that you never get over your first love. Is that true even for "the first infatuation/crush"??

Well 6 years ago it was when she believed that "the first impression is the best impression" and a little feeling cropped up in her heart... how can someone be like this?? perfect.. well at least almost perfect... responsible, smart, attractive, intelligent, energetic, humorous, sensitive... name it and he has had the quality... at least that is what she thought... from the minute he spoke to her she was highly impressed.. it was obviously a child admiring the qualities of a mature adult... but she was mature too.. she knew what it was.. her first crush.. a little late by normal standards.. but that is what it was.. she enjoyed talking to him.. cracking a joke.. learning from him.. or just being around him.. and then he left.. she dint know where...

What she felt was a feeling that most would say wouldn't last more than a couple of months... and she... pinned her heart and kept it safe...

And a few years later he was back..

Six years later... even now.. when she sees him... her heart races... a flush of embarrassment.. and she still insists that its a childish infatuation.. six years is by no mean standards a short term...

Is it but just a childish infatuation??? Um.. i guess so... a strong one though... she never denies the strong and positive feeling she felt.. she of course still likes him.. a person whose qualities she appreciates.. ask her about him.. and you'll still find her blushing.... may be its true.. that it doesn't really have to be love.. but she still remembers it all.. probably for all her life.. because it was special.. her first thrill of emotion to have liked someone... or is it because he was so special??? that i guess is a question which even she will be unable to answer...

Isn't that what most call a sweet and innocent first crush???

Saturday, November 1, 2008

When life gives you lemons...

Why cant I do what i want to?? the way Ii want to??? why do I have to succumb to others expectations??? why cant I live the how I want to??? why is life so hard sometimes?? why does it seem like a test I can never pass???

Is it true that unfairness of life builds character??? I don really care if it does.. I can construct my character well enough myself!!

They say "if life hands you lemons, make lemonade; if it gives you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys" it sounds simple.. make the best of what you get.. but it ain't as simple to do.. buts what would be simpler.. "when life gives you chocolate, make chocolate milkshake" but life doesn't always give you chocolates does it?? I know life is not meant to be all hunky dory but wen life gives you 5 blows in a row.. it is a little difficult to remain optimistic... life seems like a constant battle and nothing seems to be going right..

I wish I can turn the sour lemon into sweet lemonade.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Giveth...

Giveth with all thy heart;
'cos giving with all thy heart is an art.
Love, affection, compassion, weigh more
than gold and silver galore.

Give without a desire to receive
and no one you will deceive.
Like "Mercy" everything is blessed twice;
that which is given without a price.

Give love not hate.. Give thanks and praise...
Passion and compassion..
So honestly trust that it may touch;
"Because he is blessed, the one who giveth
and the one who receiveth"

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Trust.....

It was meant to be a taunt when i told my friend that I don't trust him... but that left me thinking about it for a long time...

What is Trust??? Is just the reliance on another?? not really.. its not just the reliance.. it is the ability to share.. share dreams.. ambitions.. fears...telling the truth without the other being skeptic about it.. the repose of confidence and the belief in their judgement...

The foundation stone of a relationship. No relationship can survive without trust.... but building trust is easier said than done... building trust requires hard work and commitment.. but more than anything else it requires complete honesty.. you need to listen and communicate your needs.. there is no beating around the bush when it comes to building a strong relation.. put forth honestly and effectively what you feel.. The simplest way to trust a person is to accept them for who they are...

Trust elevates commitment... sustains performance... and creates harmony.. in every relationship.. whether a familial, romantic, friendly or professional..

There are many people who can trust others very easily.. while there are others who have trouble trusting people... many a times there an be trust on a complete stranger.. and you never know why!!!

Someone once asked "why do trust me?" and pat came the reply... "Trusting you was my decision and proving me right is your choice".. if someone trusts you try and ensure that you prove them right.. because if trusting is difficult; rebuilding trust is twice as difficult.. but then “Trust is like a vase.. once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again.”

Monday, October 27, 2008

Express yourself...

Not long ago.. i wrote about weighing our words.. thinking before we speak... and here i am presenting its corollary... i know it sounds very cliche after being Airtel's tag line.. "Express Yourself"..

There have been innumerable occasions when we feel strongly about something but let it stay within ourselves..our dreams.. our thoughts.. our ideas.. our ambitions.. our emotions... Vent it let the other person know how you feel.. Because till you don't say it, it is more than likely that the other person wont know how you feel...

How many times has a small misunderstanding lead to an argument, an argument into a fight.. and ultimately to an out of hand situation.. all that was a little talking and a little listening... Airtel was right again when they said "talking breaks barriers" but talking not breaks but also prevents barriers..

When was the last time you told your mom a "thank you" or gave her a compliment for all she's done for you??? When was the last time you told your dad "I'm there don't worry"??? when did you tell your siblings that "you care"?? when was the last time you told your spouse you love them dearly???

There are many who argue that true love and care doesn't need words.. it can be felt.. but today in this fast moving world of cut throat competition and superficial relationships sometimes our loved ones need to hear the genuine word of love care... and see the smile on their face and the sparkle in their eyes..

As Madonna says..

"You don't need diamond rings
Or eighteen karat gold
Fancy cars that go very fast
You know they never last"

So don't hold it back... it may be a small thank you.. or a little sorry.. a hug... a sweet song.. or a simple i love you.. a small note.. a bunch of flowers.. or anything personalised for your loved one.. you don't have to be perfect.. if you feel it express it because that might be what the other person is waiting to hear.. Express Yourself and feel the difference..

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Three Questions....

It once occurred to a certain king, that if he always knew the right time to begin everything; if he knew who were the right people to listen to, and whom to avoid, and, above all, if he always knew what was the most important thing to do, he would never fail in anything he might undertake.
wishing to find the right answers to his questions, he decided to consult a hermit, widely renowned for his wisdom.
The hermit lived in a wood which he never quit and he received none but common folk. So the King put on simple clothes, and before reaching the hermit's cell dismounted from his horse, and, leaving his bodyguard behind, went on alone.
When the King approached, the hermit was digging the ground in front of his hut. Seeing the King, he greeted him and went on digging. The hermit was frail and weak, and each time he stuck his spade into the ground and turned a little earth, he breathed heavily.
The King went up to him and said: 'I have come to you, wise hermit, to ask you to answer three questions: How can I learn to do the right thing at the right time? Who are the people I most need, and to whom should I, therefore, pay more attention than to the rest? And, what affairs are the most important and need my first attention?'
The hermit listened to the King, but answered nothing. He just spat on his hand and recommenced digging.
'You are tired,' said the King, 'let me take the spade and work a while for you.'
'Thanks!' said the hermit, and, giving the spade to the King, he sat down on the ground.
When he had dug two beds, the King stopped and repeated his questions. The hermit again gave no answer, but rose, stretched out his hand for the spade, and said:
'Now rest awhile -- and let me work a bit.'
But the King did not give him the spade, and continued to dig. One hour passed, and another. The sun began to sink behind the trees, and the King at last stuck the spade into the ground, and said:
'I came to you, wise man, for an answer to my questions. If you can give me none, tell me so, and I will return home.'
'Here comes some one running,' said the hermit, 'let us see who it is.'
The King turned round, and saw a bearded man come running out of the wood. The man held his hands pressed against his stomach, and blood was flowing from under them. When he reached the King, he fell fainting on the ground moaning feebly. The King and the hermit unfastened the man's clothing. There was a large wound in his stomach.The King washed it as best he could, and bandaged it with his handkerchief and with a towel the hermit had. But the blood would not stop flowing, and the King again and again removed the bandage soaked with warm blood, and washed and rebandaged the wound. When at last the blood ceased flowing, the man revived and asked for something to drink. The King brought fresh water and gave it to him. Meanwhile the sun had set, and it had become cool. So the King, with the hermit's help, carried the wounded man into the hut and laid him on the bed. Lying on the bed the man closed his eyes and was quiet; but the King was so tired with his walk and with the work he had done, that he crouched down on the threshold, and also fell asleep -- so soundly that he slept all through the short summer night. When he awoke in the morning, it was long before he could remember where he was, or who was the strange bearded man lying on the bed and gazing intently at him with shining eyes.
'Forgive me!' said the bearded man in a weak voice, when he saw that the King was awake and was looking at him.
'I do not know you, and have nothing to forgive you for,' said the King.
'You do not know me, but I know you. I am that enemy of yours who swore to revenge himself on you, because you executed his brother and seized his property. I knew you had gone alone to see the hermit, And i resolved to kill you on your way back. But the day passed and youdid not return. So I came out from my ambush to find you, and I came upon your bodyguard, and they recognized me, and wounded me. I escaped from them, but should have bled to death had you not dressed my wound.I wished to kill you, and you have saved my life. Now, if I live, and if you wish it, I will serve you as your most faithful slave, and will bid my sons do the same. Forgive me!'
The King was very glad to have made peace with his enemy so easily, and to have gained him for a friend, and he not only forgave him, but said he would send his servants and his own physician to attend him, and promised to restore his property.
Having taken leave of the wounded man, the King went out into the porch and looked around for the hermit. Before going away he wished once more to beg an answer to the questions he had put. The hermit was outside, on his knees, sowing seeds in the beds that had been dug the day before.
The King approached him, and said:
'For the last time, I pray you to answer my questions, wise man.'
'You have already been answered!' said the hermit still crouching on his thin legs, and looking up at the King, who stood before him.
'How answered? What do you mean?' asked the King.
'Do you not see,' replied the hermit. 'If you had not pitied my weakness yesterday, and had not dug these beds for me, but had gone your way, that man would have attacked you, and you would have repented of not having stayed with me. So the most important time was when you were digging the beds; and I was the most important man; and to do me good was your most important business. Afterwards, when that man ran to us, the most important time was when you were attending to him, for if you had not bound up his wounds he would have died without having made peace with you. So he was the most important man, and what you did for him was your most important business. Remember then: "there is only one time that is important -- Now! It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power. The most necessary man is he with whom you are, for no man knows whether he will ever have dealings with any one else: and the most important affair is, to do him good, because for that purpose alone was man sent into this life! "

This is a Buddhist parable by Leo Tolstoy. And the simplicity with which it explains the philosophy of "When, What, How" is amazing. It is this basic understanding that we need to reduce our own suffering and realise our full potential of compassion and tranquility and the sense of happiness...
1903

Monday, October 20, 2008

Think before you speak....

“Weigh your words” is not a futile one liner idiom. Communication is the most important aspect our relationship with others. Your words can either bring you happiness or come back to haunt you. It all depends on you. Like an arrow which has left the bow, words out from the mouth cannot be taken back. Sometimes words can hurt deeper than swords. “SORRY, I DIN’T MEAN THAT” doesn’t really always heal the wound harsh words leave. And by the way if you dint mean that couldn’t you be more thoughtful and considerate about the other persons feelings??



When we feel the emotion of anger, we are most likely to take it out on whoever is with us.. and if no one is we have the tendency to call someone and vent out our frustration.. and end up saying something we might regret..






You don’t really have to agree with everyone and everything all the time… but listen.. listen to their side of the story and then put forth your difference in opinion.. but thoughtfully and gently..

I know that there have been times when something has upset me and without thinking, I have lashed out at the person closest to me. I'm still learning how to be aware of my thoughts and language and keep in mind "Words are like fire, they can either warm or burn.."


Thursday, October 16, 2008


It is said that nature is the best teacher... an trust me it is... I'm sure there are innumerably large number of us who love going to the beach.. ever looked at the vast span of waters an wondered if its telling us something??? teaching us a simple lesson of life.. A simple lesson.. to relentlessly move ahead.. there are highs and there lows.. there storms and there is a calm... but we need to move on... move on till we reach the shores... but is that all??? is the shore the limit?? not at all.. move on to the next one.. life never comes to a standstill... live life to the fullest... don get bogged down by the challenges of life.. and Mark Twain said.."Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover"