Insecure.. who me???

I finally i think i know what is wrong..

i thought its just the cyclical mood swings.. but now i guess there is more to it.. the emotional insecurity and the paranoia... the lack of unconditional love (which really is notional because i know i have parents and friends who love me for who i am, or atleast i hoping so), the feeling that my flaws are camouflaged than my redeeming qualities.. its just that period where the resilience to handle pressure has broken and the defence mechanism crumbled...

the problem has presented itself at the surface.. but what is the root of the problem?? I dont know.. or.. may be i do.. but just dont want to talk about it..

chasing the image of perfection has led to judgment and self-rejection. inspite of success there is no sense of Euphoria only the feel of "not being good enough".

it is not as if there is lack of confidence but its the inability to dissolve the "ideal image of perfection", something that has stolen the joy from little things in life.. from a hearty laughter, from a cup of coffee, from silly stupid fights.. from the brightness of my favourite flowers..

the remedies that usually work.. reading my inbox.. watching my favourite movies.. a sweet melody.. and freaky conversation... reading a book.. nothing seems to work..

but as they say and i'm sure "This too shall pass"...