Jus like that...

Our Dear Mama Papa Game:)

2009-12-26T02:29:00.000+05:30

Girl stuff one called it; and childish another:
We fussed and fought. Agreed and disagreed
At last consensus came
To play our dear mama papa game.

When one acted as a traitor,
We wondered who’d be facilitator!!
But as usual it was super mom to the rescue
Who filled the game with all the hue.

Gift economy was not just the rule of the game.
From our mama papa a command came.
Some silly, some sweet, some thoughtful and neat
And sometimes emderatology needs better techniques.
Commands executed perfectly by a few.
Partially by some, getting complaints from their mums.

Each put thought in the gift they gave
Which we exchanged in that tiny cave.
With the camera constantly flashing
For the toothpaste models it seemed like a bashing.
Was it the seasons cheer or the company near
Only happy voices we would hear.

Voice modulation never attempted
The excitement we pre-empted
Moving from the little cave
To a whole new planet
An alter ego tries to save.

With meal to recount the days events
Pleasurable it was to see
Reactions to insane conversations
Unfortunately the insane didn’t seem to realize.

And as usual
Hopscotch it seemed to be
Until home base we managed to reach

Thats my father..

2009-12-21T23:28:00.004+05:30

No i don't have to look back
the pictures in front of me flash
he held me in his arms when i cried
hit me on my knuckles when i couldn't divide!!
realised every dream even before i could see
and loves me even when I'm only me..

From little steps to exam preps
From early morning alarms
to perfect cappuccinos and bournivta
From silly movies to high spirits
For being there all credit he merits...

There ain't no doubt in my mind
He is one person who never left me behind.
Through struggles and strife
he taught the meaning of life.

My biggest critic
My best appreciator
He always tells me to try harder,
that's my Father :)

no ode i can pay..

2009-12-14T22:39:00.004+05:30

No ode to nature like Wordsworth i can pay...
no vivid narrative i can say
of the genial sunshine that comes through after rain
penetrating the dark clouds following each other like a train
the water droplets that gleam on the flowers
proclaim their purity and soothing powers
the solitary bird that flies across the sky
savouring the moment, not getting itself dry..
on the roof top i stand and wonder
to stay in basement and work was such a blunder...
to the beauty if the sight i surrender..

My drink!!!

2009-12-12T22:31:00.000+05:30

It is but an art to fix my drink

hovering between the large and small.

no a wrong one wouldn take me to sanity's brink

nor would i demonstrate idiocy more than i normally do

the only thing that would be high are my footwear heels...

but ofcourse i would take up a dare

like a stupid mare

without for the world a care

to bring to perfect proportion the "concoction"

with company thats new and old

there was no putting on hold

the free flowing one liners..

well it couldn have gotten finer

except for a meal with a fine diner..

Monday Mournings????

2009-12-07T12:11:00.002+05:30

it's a Monday morning and
surprisingly there aren't any blues..
i would attribute it to a weekend
filled with a variety of hues...
its not on every Saturday
that we get a night out..

Flips and flops are inherent in our plan
after all we are a funny clan...
acting like 3 idiots is not
limited to the screen..
the watchman who witnessed
our madness, i'm sure thought
he had a horrible dream
till there was completion of the team..
the fourth entering with a temper
we made all attempts to pamper
including a rhyming banter...

tempting they are...
junk and ice cream..
even after an appetizing meal..
vocabulary is not our asset
but that dint make us "taboo".
it was as precious as corals
the mid night class on morals
and we were let out of the grip
when we did go on our "road trip"
although i couldn wake up Sid..

after yes and irresolute no..
for the concert we decided to go..
Papu cant dance..
but we gave ourselves a chance..
screaming and yelling like those
old school days..
of laughter and mirth
there seemed to be no dearth..

issuance of curfew ordinances
left us "flighting" like Cinderellas..
No.. we wouldn't change into rags
nor lose our carriages to take us home
just that we would get to hear fireworks
that for a couple of days in our ears would lurk..

the inevitable exhaustion to the bed hinges
even those who are 6 feet, two and a half inches...

A little thought...

2009-11-30T10:53:00.005+05:30

A little thought i ponder on...
For thoughts become things the say..
the little thought that comes at last
i don't want to be a thing of the past..
what has gone past has gone
its time to move on
its is impossible to get back
what one has foregone...

Finally out of Hibernation....

2009-11-20T11:43:00.001+05:30

i survived!!! four months of sitting at home and trying to study.. Omg!! i never thought i could do that.. but i did... i did.. i did.. the result was not very satisfying though.. for now that is the least of my worries.. exams are done.. and finally I'm out hibernation and allowed to break free.. to do what I've been wanting to for a very very long time.. the list of things to do is really really long.. but lets see "10 things i wanna do after exams"
1. Get myself a really nice haircut
2. Shop till i drop
3. Clean the mess in my room and book shelf
4. Go on my nice little joy ride
5. Make up for all the lost time with family and friends
6.Read, Read and Read more.. uh.. not text books.. my sweet love stories and enthralling mysteries.. and a couple new bestsellers
7. Watch all the movies that I've missed
8. Experiment a little with my culinary skills and learn to fix a few drinks
9. Plan an improbable holiday ( i might not go on one but there ain't no harm trying right???)
10. Lastly try and loose some weight...
ya ya ya.. there is loads more that i need to do.. so lets wait and watch how things pan out....

for the man of science..

2009-08-04T10:39:00.000+05:30

hmmm... time management has never been one of my virtue (its not that i dont try but it doesn seem to happen) anyways i'm a couple of months late in posting this.. so apologies to the person to whom it is dedicated..

when it comes to this "man of science" i always fall short of words..an thats the reason i kept postponing posting this one... but there is one thing i say confidently.. he is a total "drama king" (creative liberty).. all he has to do is a little natak and he knows he will get his way through... and of course sometimes.. actually most of the times jumps to conclusions and hangs up.. gussa to iski naak par hota hai.. baitha bhi nahi.. khada... ok ok don yell at me for that.. its a fact.. try and recall the number of times u've hung up on me!!

apart from that he is actually pretty sweet.. uh.. thats not pretty an sweet.. duh...

an i got the lunch u promised me.. so u'll get the brownies i promised.. its jus that as usual ill be late.. but u'll get it..

an now im at a loss of words..

P.S. this was in my drafts an im not satisfied.. but since u wre waiting.. place a bet ill do editions to it in the near future!!

Incoherently tryin to say i miss u...

2009-08-04T00:48:00.003+05:30

Those memories are by no mean way few..
and i can reassure there'll be many more new...
of good times and bad..
its just that i'm a little sad..
cos i already miss your addictive cheer
your little texts which wipe away my fear
for how much you care
without you its like something isnt there..

Wipe away the fears today
Everything will be okay
Capture each moment happy or sad
Cos i want to live it too...
Keep faith in your drive and ambition
you've never given up
dont give in now..

an remember
the miles between us cant keep us apart...

Scraped my knee and proud of it...

2009-07-24T21:19:00.003+05:30

scraped knee.. hurt ankle.. an torn jeans.. logically the next phrase would have been "boys will be boys" but i'm proud to flaunt that the next phrase actually is "yippi yippi that happened to me"...

no i dint fall off the bike.. nor did i try climbing a tree.. i only got a little enthu to watch my dear friend lead the school march past as Head girl.. well and in the process of running to the other end of the ground dint realise that the long jump pit comes in the way..

its not often that i scrape my knees (it doesnt imply that im not clumsy, because i define that), i celebrated this scraped knee.. not because there would be someone to acknowledge the pain or to massage the swelling(anyways there was no one) but because it awoke the sleeping child in me.. the one who loved cheer and fun.. the one who could be the just and the jester... it made me realise that the carefree, fun loving girl is still there, waiting to come out.. and out she is.. without a care of whats going to happen...

scraping my knee brought back to me the joys of childhood i had left far behind in a life where each move seems to be calculated.. reminded me that i am still entitled to do things without giving the consequences a thought...

Random or synchronised???

2009-07-06T21:11:00.004+05:30

the fact that a silly facebook quiz told me that i'd meet my Mr. Right at a coffee shop is not the reason that i hang out at one most of the time.. i just find it really comfortable place to indulge myself in some deep studying.. (of my books ofcourse!!!).. but i do waste a little time reading the outlook.. and so i did today too...

there are certain unexplainable synchornies in life... its not even a couple of days back that i was having an intense discussion about true love and 100% commitment.. and the cover story of outlook was about screen romance and the love it never talks about.., there was a very nice article by the writer of Khosla ka Ghosla (sorry i'm very bad at names).. coming the author wove a beautiful article from patches of real life situations of love that was not.. just reinstating my question whether reel life 17 year old romances exist???

and i talking about synchronisation.. an elderly couple walked into the coffee shop.. and there was something about them that i could not take my eyes off them (apart from the lady being really attractive and smartly dressed in a pretty Saree).. they ordered for a sandwich and coffee for each of them.. their conversation was just flowing on.. not just through words.. and when they were done.. like most elderly indian couples it was the lady who paid(the lady carries the bag you see.. and men are more forgetful in old age).. outlook declared Shahrukh and Kajol the most romantic on-screen couple... but i'm sure even Aditya Chopra wouldn't be able to script love as true and honest as i saw today...

love is not just teenage romance... its waking up early some morning to make her a surprise bed tea.. to do the dishes together..to give..to commit... to trust.. to cherish.. not for a day.. month.. or year.. but for a lifetime...

Omg.. What a match.. Again!!

2009-07-06T13:56:00.002+05:30

Not many put their money on history repeating itself.. but it did.. another epic final at Centre Court yesterday.. but it was Federer who was the heart breaker this time... (ummm.. i was more than thankful it was not Nadal facing him.. i'm sure i'd have failed to handle the stress)

the fifth set.. Vijay Amritraj merely called it the longest fifth set of a grand slam final.. (I'm sure he'll use more adjectives for it now). but the decider and omg.. A set that saw fantastic serving.. more winners than errors.. Roddick played arguably his best tennis.. was broken only once in the match.. and at that point he lost the match..

the match was definitely not for the weak hearted.. an enjoyable battle that left me regretting for my trimming my nails early yesterday morning.. i dint have any to chew off during the match you see...

Roddick might have lost the match.. and my heart cries out for him... but what disappointed me more is that now Federer overtakes Nadal as the World N. 1 *sigh* *sigh*

My teddy bear...

2009-07-05T13:23:00.007+05:30

There are quite a few people i cant live without and ofcourse i'm sure they know that.. but there is someone very special (something, most would say) i cant live without too.. my eager listener, confidante, and very very loyal friend.. my very loved teddy bears.. most would call me an arctophile(a teddy bear collector), call me what you want, because its not like i care.. but my teddy bears are the dearest..

with about 2 dozen of them, each of them uniquely christened, they are very special to me.. and each of them has had a special way of being an entrant into my life... they offer unconditional love and comfort..

in times of hardship, they've provided solace. in times loneliness they've proved company. in times of silence they've listened...

Even when i'm cynical about the rest of the world.. i know my teddy bears will be there for me..

Here is something i had read sometime back and for obvious reasons immediately related to it.. so go on and read it.. Till then here is a bear hug from me to you...

I am your guardian teddy bear

I'm looking out for you

Just pull me close and hug me tight

Whenever you feel blue.

Just tell me when you're feeling sad,

I listen very well.

Your hopes, your dreams, your troubles too

I promise not to tell.

Share with me all your secret thoughts

Don't hold back anything

Just know that I'll be by your side

Whatever life may bring.

You are a very precious friend

You're special as can be

Nobody else is quite like you
And I should know, you see.

Because I am your teddy bear

And teddy bears are wise

We watch and learn our whole lives through

We're Einstein's in disguise.

So let me give you some advice

Always stand proud and tall

Be thankful for your special gifts

Because you have them all.
And I'll keep looking out for you

Just know that I am there

I am your biggest fan, you know

'Cause I'm your teddy bear.

No expectations no disappointments

2009-07-05T00:40:00.002+05:30

"We do not indeed so often disappoint others as ourselves. We ourselves to form hopes which we never communicate, and please our thoughts with employments which none will ever allot us, and with elevations to which we are never expected to rise; and when our days and years have passed away in common business or common amusements, and we find at last that we have suffered our purposes to sleep till the time of action is past, we are reproached only by our own reflections; neither our friends nor our enemies wonder that we live and die like the rest of mankind; that we live without notice, and die without memorial; they know not what task we had proposed, and therefore cannot discern whether it is finished."

Under pressure and stress of this overburdened life often one tends to forget themselves. Changing the way one thinks from good to bad, better to worse, is just because one is too afraid to experience emotions and so the attempt to escape and think it will protect from disappointment.

shortcut to happiness????

2009-07-05T00:06:00.003+05:30

It was a couple of years back that i participated in a play.. Dr Faustus.. ok i'm a student of literature.. but its one of the best plays ive read.. and the best ive been a part of till date. the plot overview is basically that Dr. Faustus a scholar is dissatisfied with his knowledge sells his soul to the devil (Lucifer himself) for twenty four years of knowledge and prosperity..

The whole play and our performance just came as a flashback when i was watching this movie called "Shortcut to Happiness". the protagonist sells his soul for name fame success and glory, but after he has that he is still not happy on the inside..

how many of us would gladly do that... little do we realise that name fame and success might give us momentary happiness but not fill our hearts with happiness.. cannot give us the euphoria that would bring tears of joy...

why do we pour ourselves into pursuits that provide so little in lasting happiness???

why is it that no thought is given to Aristotle's saying "happiness is "the virtuous activity of the soul in accordance with reason, happiness is the practice of virtue." - there is no shortcut to happiness

or may be i just think toooo much :P

Choose wisely..

2009-05-17T22:31:00.000+05:30

"Its not abilities but our choices that truly define who we are " - Albus Dumbledore

when i was just thinking what is the good that i learn from the post today, i heard Albus Dumbledore.. and it was like lightening struck.. (the Eureka types). what is life all about, the big decisions that i make?? well yes ofcourse, but more so the little little choices i make everyday. and then i thought do i always have a choice? because most of the time i feel i am compelled to do things, but now when i look back, i've always had choices when i felt i dint its just that i dint like the ones available.

Sometimes it may seem insignificant what we choose, but every minor decision of ours has an impact on our lives.

So what is important is to make a choice. Choose wisely and stick by it; nobody says it'll be easy but you will definitely get there!!

In the journey of life

2009-05-15T18:14:00.000+05:30

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth." - Mark Twain

What does it really mean??

well atleast to me, it says,

in the journey of life...
do what you're supposed to do
do what you want to do
and
do it the way you're supposed to..

don't bother about the outcome or outspoken
because you know you've the right the best you could.

Its not just roasted beans...

2009-05-12T12:22:00.004+05:30

For me "A switch is a switch" and "tea is tea" but is coffee only coffee?? uh uh.. no way.. ok i know coffee has been a part of quite a few blogs.. but what to do.. i just love coffee... A cup of well brewed coffee..
it really does not matter whether its the Godfather of Italian coffee in the form of an expresso or the prince in the Latte.. though the mention of cappuccino will have my face a lit up (a little extra sweet cappuccino i might add).. and its not just the Italian coffee that catches my fancy.. Because for me the Indian filter coffee is just a little better..

Coffee has become an obsession, addiction and joy of life.. but then there are a few people who've taken the title "coffee and cigarettes" too literally and think the combination is just perfect.. I guess they've only heard the title because one of the characters (pardon my poor memory because dont remember the name) repeats a million times atleast that coffee and cigarettes dont make for a very healthy combination...

For me its no Expresso vs Latte or cappuccino vs filter coffee.. cos i love them all the same.. the only one i like better is a mug of hot frothy coffee made by lowe especially for me... and Cafe Coffee Day's tag line is right in saying "lot can happen over a coffee" so let a lot happen. let it stimulate and rejuvenate you..

Pass it on..

2009-05-11T22:23:00.000+05:30

Have you had a kindness shown? Pass it on;
T' was not give for thee alone, Pass it on.
Let it travel down the years,
Let it wipe another's tears,
till in heaven the deed appears; Pass it on."

Rev. Henry Burton wrote this hymn when he heard his brother in law narrate an act of kindness shown to him and how he was asked to pass on the kindness..

This has been my favorite hymn since the day I've learnt it... more than the song its what the song has taught me.. It taught me that the best moments of life are the little unremembered acts of kindness and love..

There are 3 principles of kindness... ( I dint formulate them but try to emulate them)

kindness seeks opportunities to express itself
Kindness is shown for the sake of someone else
Kindness is not slow in taking the initiative to meet a need

"T' was a sunshine of a smile, Pass it on;
Staying but a little while, Pass it on;
April beam the little thing,
Still it wakes the flowers of Spring,
Makes the silent bird to sing, Pass it on."

Its little acts of kindness that we need to show, so don't wait for something big, Love demands the loving deed, Pass it on.

http://fakeiplplayer.blogspot.com

2009-05-04T18:04:00.004+05:30

A KKR match may be a dull and boring one to many.. With most rightly predicting what the outcome of the game will be.. but with every KKR game comes the magnificent display of the literary skills of an anonymous blogger who has created a stir in the blogging community.

Fake IPL Player or Poison pen as the KKr team call him has been posting quite a lot of masala.. which a few claim is a well-structured literary piece of all the gossip available in the media while a few others are of the opinion that it is far too easy to make fun a team that is known more for its celebrity owner than its cricketers or cricketing skills and is currently so dysfunctional that an insider is actually blogging "Confidential matters". Our dear friend has been chiefly aiming for his kkr team mates but hasn't spared the rest of them by any means.

Every one has been in pursuit of this Fake IPL Player, the fakester who has become bigger than the tournament itself, and if you thought he wasnt enough there is an ingenious follower of his who has created a dictionary for all the nicks he uses, skateserbia.com/?p=308.

Love him or hate him but you cant ignore him.. whether cricketer (which seems a little far fetched considering his eloquent language) or entertainer.. I'm thankful to him for a providing a nice little laugh early in the morning...

Its all my fault...

2009-04-27T10:00:00.003+05:30

Its all my fault
i love to love..
Its all my fault
i try so hard..
Its all my fault
with ease i trust...
Its all my fault
i sought to be understood...
Its all my fault
i am in disarray,
when good is not enough,
and better is possible..
Its all my fault
for realising late,
the good was the best i could do..
its all my fault
i judge myself
by others expectations..
and worse of all;
its all my fault
I'm last on my own priority list!!

2009-04-25T11:56:00.002+05:30

i hate not the way you make feel
but the way i feel..
sometimes like a princess..
like the world is mine
and i loved every grape in the vine..
sometimes i lived without a care
about how in this big bad world I'd fare
sometimes I'd take all the time
just to "stand and stare"

but now that seems just too rare
the strings seem to pull and
i seem to have lost what was
and the world seems far away
the time just as usual doesn't wait
that only compels me to feel
I'm already late
and more than the way you make me feel
that's what i hate..

i hate not that you hurt me..
i hate it that i hurt you
when i love you with all my heart
and i don't want to part..
cos whatever happens ill hold
you next to my heart...

Cooking - Day 3

2009-04-18T16:54:00.000+05:30

Day3 it is.. and on my menu is Dumb Bhindi and roti.. so lets get started.. actually its not very complicated.. first wash and cut the bhindi.. i did cut it really neat (atleast thats what i thought.. and that was before my grandmother told me that i m chopping too much of the edges)..

Step 2.. i take out my super looking cooking vessel.. ( i love cooking in those cute looking aluminium pots)

then i being.. heat a little oil.. fry the jeera add the masalas (and my trick for most indian dishes.. add a pinch of everything in the box and extra of the ones im sure go into the dish :P)
then put the bhindi in... cover the vessel and let it simmer..

after about ten to twelve minutes i ask my grandma if its done and she says add the masalas now.. (uh uh was my reaction.. you already know what i had done.. but thats what the recipe online told me) anyways i checked it with the spoon and it looked cooked.. so the gas goes off.. a little of it in a bowl to make my guinea pig taste...

and yippii.. my aunt says its super :) and then i tell her what i did.. and there i learn another tip.. fresh bhindi is very tender so its ok if the masala is added first..

Verdict: Bhindi brilliant.. rotis need loads more practise

Cooking - Day 2

2009-04-17T00:03:00.001+05:30

After the success of the palak paneer, i wanted to get a little adventurous.. and decided to make alu ka parantha. Wow.. I love paranthas, some may say, while a kitchen regular is sure to say that there is nothing adventurous about making alu ka parantha.

The confirmation recipe i read online did make it look easy. but uh right. first boil the potatoes, while thats happening knead dough and leave it aside for sometime, peel the potatoes and mash them, add the spices and make the filling. Till here is the easy part.

And then you have to roll the paranthas. now, not only is that tricky but also requires loads of practise and skill. the parantha keeps tearing and the filling starts popping out.. uh.. really painful experience.. but then i managed to cook the required minimum of four.

Verdict: Looks horrid with all the masala popping out and it being shapeless, but it was edible enough to be eaten without cribbing :(

Cooking - Day 1

2009-04-14T22:31:00.000+05:30

Mum is not there.. so for a month i'm the queen of the kitchen.. day1 in the kitchen and yippe its a holiday.. and whats cooking as per my menu?? umm Palak Paneer.. cooking really is a stress buster.. anyway to get on with making palak panner.. dad got the palak and 2 bunches of it (previous experience told me one bunch ain't enough for the whole family) so there you go.. onions and tomatoes are on the kitchen table.. but oops first i have to make the paneer.. so there goes one liter milk on the gas and to curdle it i squeeze lime juice.. so as the milk gets curdled.. i get all the other ingredients...

Then for cleaning the palak, graciously i'd admit that i had quite lot passive learning in the science of cooking, so one such tip i learnt was to wash and clean the greens properly and second always boil and then chop them. so tediously i clean the palak and put for a light boil, meanwhile i chop the onion, tomato and garlic and grind them into a paste... the milk and curdled and been strained into a muslin cloth to give the paneer shape. the palak has boiled and cooled a little and that goes into the mixer too.. a smooth Green paste is ready..

so all the basic preps are done.. now is my time to have fun.. The kadai is on the gas.. 2 tablespoon oil.. the onion- tomato paste goes in first.. till it gets a little golden brown.. then the spices.. (whenever i get confused i use all mum keeps in the spice box and whenever is most of the time). then the palak goes in and a sliced chilly.. a little cooking for about five minutes..(you dont cook greens for too long they lose the vitamins).

ok the gas is off.. and so am i.. i have notes to copy till lunchtime..

at lunchtime the gravy is on the flames.. the panner is being cut into cubes.. salt is added to gravy(adding salt at the end lets the palak be green).. the papad is roasted. the maid has already cooked the chapathis...

and lunch is served..

Verdict on the palak paneer.. Good but salt is a little less :(

Men Gossip more than women??!!!!!

2009-04-13T21:01:00.003+05:30

there was a very interesting article in today's paper titled "Men gossip more than women" disappointingly i was late as usual and dint have time to read the entire article (my priority was the zodiac forecast column). anyways coming back to the topic. "Gossip" is an activity that has been associated with women for time immemorial, the tell-tale habit and the humour of saying that a woman would suffer from indigestion if she dint pass on the news she had. Well yes, women do gossip, they do pass on little tittle-tattle, but all of it is to build a stronger bond or break the ice with friends and colleagues.

Men would never admit that they gossip(i call it the male ego). and not only gossip, they gossip on mostly similar topics as women but i think there is a small difference. For women it is a chatty talk they indulge in, for men it is a sort of morale or confidence boost.
and to top it all they'd call it "Networking"

The little bit that i picked from the article today was that while an average female spends 56 minutes a day on gossip mongering, males indulge in it for 72 minutes but they tend to talk more about themselves.

the most important point of difference between men and women gossiping however boils down to 2 factors for me a highly animated tone with plenty of detail and an even more animated and enthusiastic response :P

Men might gossip more but women are more skilled at it :P

shoe flinging and then regrettin??

2009-04-07T20:58:00.003+05:30

I agree that our constitution provides us with the fundamental rights of expression; but its one thing to use the liberty to say what you want and another to misuse it. I dont know if im being hypocritical but i truly found a shoe being hurled at Bush funny. seeing an Iraqi journalist throwing a couple of shoes at bush may not mean much to me but seeing the same treatment to a union minister is no laughing matter. I know politicians in india are no longer respected, but Mr Chidambaram has atleast a few credentials to his name to be treated respectfully.

Tytler getting a congress ticket after being given a clean chit by the CBI in the 1984 Sikh riots and probably to add insult to injury Mr Chidambaram did dodge the question pretty well. whatever said and done; as a journalist the first thing to learn is to report the news in an objective manner. and how can someone do that when they cant keep their emotions in check and act off handedly.

hypocritical or not it was sadistic pleasure to see Bush being ridiculed, but it is hurtful and angers me to see a man like Chidambaram being treated like this; atleast in the former case he was in alien territory and had done sufficient wrong to deserve that.

the journalist has already apologised and regretted his actions saying he did not intend to hurt anyone. the damage however is done. i dont support politicians but a few them like Mr Chidambaram do deserve to be treated humanly and shown basic courtesy, about the rest i really dont care.

when best friends fight!!!

2009-04-07T15:29:00.006+05:30

Some people ask do best friends fight? Well may be not all it really depends you know. There are best friends who understand each other totally, know immediately that something is wrong. You’d hardly see them fighting. And there is another set, who can’t seem to finish the day without a fight, it’s just as if it’s a mandatory part of the daily routine. But that doesn’t mean that they understand each other any less.

There are many who say that spending quality time, understanding each other, listening to them are the best ways to strengthen a relationship.

Not many will agree with me, but what I would add to the list is a nice healthy fight. Uh.. I am sure there are raised eyebrows. But with a few people it really does work... and i'm talking about the "violent conflicts" not conflicts in the literal sense, with not much of perceived or actual oppositions of views and needs, but violent yes!! (everyone cant afford a punching bag. can they?)

Each time the silly fight occurs; there is one who attempts the sincere apology and the other who stone heartedly rejects it. Only to say a couple of minutes later, I don’t need an apology from you stupid!! Sometimes it may take a little longer than a couple of minutes, but that does not mean there is a hard bricked wall, there is only a little veil that does not take more than a moment to throw off.

Each time the fight is over the smile seems to get brighter and the bond seems to grow deeper.

A cup of coffee

2009-04-03T10:05:00.005+05:30

A perfect cup of coffee is a quest that has captivated men and women all around the world. my life is a cup filled with hot freshly brewn aromatic coffee... and for me it was perfect.. i felt i had conquered..

when you blend the 4 different ingredients of coffee; milk, water, sugar, coffee. and to spice it up a little the 5th cinnamon you get the perfect coffee..

each ingredient different and totally unique, and the coffee cant do without any of them.. you have to mix them at the right time in the right mix..
you dont need the understanding of physics or the laws of mixtures of chemistry for that :)

i thought i had got it right.. fixed up where i had gone wrong..with no shortcuts i gave it my best.. but i guess i was wrong again.. my coffee is beginning to go wrong? what do i do to set it right?? can an expert help me out???

B + :)

2009-03-30T13:06:00.003+05:30

it has become habitual for me to start my day at work by reading my igoogle horrorscope. and today it said that i'm filled with positive creative energy!! Well did i really need an online forecast to tell me that?? not at all.
The one thing that i've always known but learnt over the last couple of months. thoughts are things, and you reap the results of your thoughts. these thoughts manifest our lives. like the vibs that emminate from each of us so do thoughts. and it is in our minds the kinds of thoughts we let. the laws of attraction work not only in physics. with negative thoughts you are destined to exepreience negativity and evil results.
Positive energy and positive thoughts help you operate at a level of bouyancy and cheerfulness, your more optimistic about everything, its a more happy and confident you.
Things go wrong, not sometimes but many times, its how one thinks that makes all the difference. and really its not very difficult, they key is SELF-MASTERY

All the Worlds a stage!!!

2009-03-30T12:37:00.002+05:30

All the world is a stage said one
a wide universal theatre another
with a nod of agreement superficial i add
where "heart felt emotions" are artificial
the "Act" is not of seven stages
In seven stages they act.
Barbie smiles are on faces
thoughts and ideas are shallow
and most "like sheep" most seem to follow
where humanity is a sham
only as good as walking the ramp.
Cynical it may seem
but to make the world a
better place is only a dream!!

Are woman truly empowered??

2009-03-09T00:19:00.003+05:30

when one is asked to define a woman.. its almost certain that they will fall back on the stereotypes and cliches of pink satin, softness, sensuality, who handles relationship, that of a daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend to perfection. it is true that she gives a lot to each relationship. earlier she was the perfect homemaker and now she is the perfect balancer.

Woman's Day is to celebrate the social, political and economic achievements of women. There are Sonia Gandhi, Oprah Winfrey, Chanda Kochar, Kiran Shaw, Shoba De, woman who have accomplished so much, achieved so much, much more than most men. but for everyone of them there are millions of women who wake and sleep, live and die in grief.

We live in the myth of the few thousand successful woman who have broken barriers and rules, gone past the glass ceiling. I'm not talking about the you and me but the millions of other women for whom Patriarchy, discriminatory customs and values are a part of the society where they are seeking a life of dignity.

Each human being is to be cherished for who they are, but more so a woman. for the millions "hers" for whom life is a constant struggle for survival. but they question is "is she ever going to feel cherished?" Are these woman who we call "empowered women"?

I'm not trying to take away anything from those women who have reached their goals in life, who made dreams reality and the impossible possible. the perfect daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, friends, professionals, it is they who remind us that "A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform"

I may....

2009-03-06T22:28:00.005+05:30

I may not complaint
but i fell the pain
i may not ask for what is rightfully mine
because i just chose to wait for my chance in the line
i may not appear to be insecure
but i still might need your reassurance
i may know i'm loved
but i might want you to tell me that more often

i may be difficult to handle sometime
and i might "have the vocabulary of a mime"
and thats when i want to hear what i need to hear
think a little
and the truth will hit you between your eyes
i may strive for the elusive perfection
but i'm still most human...

All Grown Up!!!

2009-02-28T14:32:00.005+05:30

King Solomon says,"There is a time for everything and every activity under the heaven". The "Tiny Tods" as my little brother affectionately calls them, have grown up.. and its more than the second prize in a cooking competition that made me realise that. The responsibility and maturity by no means implies that the madness has gone (i hope it never does) and yesterday was enough proof of that; with the two of them doing a photo shoot dressed as babes, and displaying the famous pout :P.. and the madness doesnot end.. they actually used blowpens on my face, one cheek pink and the other blue (i dunno how i let them do that).

Now they seem to understand things better, look at things from more than one view point. They've blossomed, into beautiful swans, who seem to have the perfect blend of maturity and madness.

And as my lil bro says, the third graders are no longer in third grade:)

The Perfect chocolate :P

2009-02-13T22:44:00.004+05:30

Most of us know chocolate as a deliciously decadent sweet that we eat in cookies, cakes, candy bars, and other desserts. And, chocolate isn’t simply a snack or key ingredient in cooking. Over the centuries, many cultures have used the seeds from which chocolate is made—cacao. Plus, medicinal remedies featuring chocolate have been used as household curatives across the globe.

For centuries, legends from many cultures have claimed that consuming chocolate instilled strength, health, faith, and passion in those who drank it. These legends attributed magical properties to chocolate and endowed it with powerful symbolic value. Chocolate is still revered as an icon of love and devotion today, and eating chocolate remains a part of many enduring holiday traditions.

Chocolate has long been regarded as a pleasant diversion, if not quite a magic bullet, for feeling low. And, for most people, this is still the case. It is considered the best antidote to depression. Chocolate still maintains its known "feel-good" effect on people who are simply having a bad day, for those who are severely stressed or clinically depressed, the effect may be to make the depression and stress worse.

Ok all of that was just to show off that i know quite a bit chocolates. The whole point of this what many call futile exercise is to put on record my experience of tasting a flavour of the latest Cadbury range. Bournville. Well it is named after a famous village associated with the Cadbury family in England; but what is more fascinating is the intense chocolate. For a chocoholic like me the promotional ad was enough to wait for its launch.

I took to the ad too literally " you don buy a bournville, you earn it". well i earned it, fair and square, but the one who owed it to me refused to give to me. Well he ultimately did:P (though he dint even take the pains of buying it himself :P )

A total choco-addict that i am, I'm glad he kept his word. it was one of the nicest I've ever had. From the texture to the taste.. it was perfect. It melts in your mouth and makes you go ’mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm’..

and to the stupid who gave that chocolate to me i just want quote Henry Longfellow

"Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;

And the song, from beginning to end,

I found again in the heart of a friend."

ok i even want to say this..It was not a act of heroism, but for me it was a reflection of how you feel.Thank you for caring, thank you for being there unconditionally, for being there and supporting me in all circumstances. Thanks for being a great and delightful friend. :)

P.S. i'm not able to upload the pic :( and btw you still owe me a few chocolates :P

Luck by chance :P

2009-02-04T10:59:00.004+05:30

Luck by chance is a contemporary tale , where the plot revolves around how an outsider tries to find his feet in the world of Hindi cinema. Ironical then that a star kid has sought to make such a movie.

Few scenes being the cliche slapstick comedy, few others are cynical enough to make you smile; but there are few in the movie which try to escape the realities of the real world. And you definitely cant resisting laughing hard at them especially when you've experienced a few them yourself.

And going for the movie itself was by chance and lucky. Watching the movie was not really only watching the movie experience for me this time. It was the brother and three dwarfs at the theater, where the three dwarfs totally freaked at everything they could relate in the movie to themselves (considering their self-obsession it was on most occasions.) there more than a few comments flying, whether it was on Isha Sharwani and Juhi Chawla being complete "Fashion Disasters" or tacky lines we'd heard in real life ourselves.

There is no way i can miss making a mention of this; Vikram Jaisingh the promising and good looking want-to-be an actor aspirant knows what he wants and how to manipulate the situation to get it. He works his charm with surmounting success on the yesteryear star Neena. But what was not surprising that she falls for that charm. "Girls will after all be Girls" (thats what i heard) :P

The movie showcases a slice of life in bollywood, it being a mix of opportunities and destiny. the brother had an opportunity to sit in the luxury of his house and watch the "onslaught" of the Indian batsmen, it was his destiny that he was stuck at the theater with the three dwarfs only to witness them laugh their heads off and listen to them comment on the events happening on and off the screen.

My disorder...

2009-02-02T13:07:00.002+05:30

I have a psychological dysphoric disorder. Most may call it an imagined disease and say it is all in my head. or probably attribute it to the most obvious female disorder(i was hoping it was the case all along). But i have ultimately accepted the existence, impact and importance of this disease.

Apart from dysphoria which is obvious from the nomenclature of my disease, the other symptoms include irritability, bloating, anxiety, mood swings and insomnia (trouble falling asleep).

There aint any laboratory test that i undertook; but i have successfully diagnosed the disease, with the symptoms and also identified its causes which include, high cocoa and caffeine intake, stress perceptions, undue fantasying of improbable events and ofcourse unsuccessful attempts to violate social norms.

There is no use crying over spilt milk. But i atleast can clean the spilt milk, cant i?? So now that i have diagnosed my disease, i will devote a little time from my otherwise so-called hectic schedule to research on the non-medicinal and non-addictive treatments of the disease.

Uhh.. I missed it!!!

2009-02-01T22:34:00.005+05:30

And he said it again.. Very subtle this time "another nail biting finish" thats what he said at the start of the fifth set... and that too exactly when i had was forced to leave the luxury of my home and the pleasure of the watching the final set of the Australian Open final, to meet another appointment.

The score line tells me i dint miss much of the game. What i am more interested in was to Federer's reaction to the loss. I guess all the hype about him equalling Sampras did jinx the finals for him.

The four sets which i did watch were intense and spell binding; both players displaying their skill and talent to its zenith. Nadal showed no signs of tiredness inspite of that epic semi final(there is someone, actually two of them out there who claim they are sure that banana has drugs.. Phew). There were some really cheeky points, between long rallies, quite a few extending to 20 shots.

By the way did i miss saying that Star Sports put a commercial just when Nadal was changing his shirt?, talk about wrong timing.

Never measure your victory by somebody Elise's loss: thats how a famous proverb goes. it doesnot matter that Federer lost, its that Nadal won, his first Slam on hard court.

And what i claim i missed, was not seeing Federer in tears(and the someone does not like men crying too, its all about the male ego you know). In this case though i think there would have been more hurt than ego. My sympathies to Federer. I read what i missed and I agree. "you are one of the best in history” thats what Nadal said that the presentation. So i'll wait and see what comes up on youtube and on Nadal's blog. For now it is "Yipee rafa won" :)

Omg... What-a-match!!!!

2009-01-30T20:18:00.002+05:30

Its not very often that my little bro says he has only 10 finger nails to bite off!!! if federer vs tipsarevic last year was a highlight at the Australian Open last year and the Wimbledon final between nadal and federer breathtaking.. the all Spanish semi today was heartstopingly fantabulous.

Rafael Nadal vs Fernando Verdasco at the Australian Open Semi Final 2009 created history. the longest ever in Australian Open History.

God i think dint want me miss the second half of the action and sent a blessing cancelling my evening class.

i may not be a pro at tennis, nor is it my area of expertise.. but the match i saw today was by far one of the best i've ever seen.

Five hours and 14 minutes of intensely fierce is no mean joke. 95 winners from Verdasco (totally disappointing many about not making it a three digit figure) dint wilt away Nadal. The point Nadal won in the fourth set to win his fourth game made the entire arena stand up and applaud. Nadal tired Verdasco making him run around the court and the effort was taking its toll on the 25 yr old Spaniard. But all those signs vanished in the tie break; taking it 7-1 he leveled the match to 2 sets a piece.

And in the fifth set altleast i din't want to place my money on whose serve would be broken first. but Nadal definitely had the added advantage of serving first in the decider. verdasco saw off two match points courageously, but to Nadal's relief instead of the timely ace (like many other occasions during the match) came a double fault.

Quite an anti climax ending to what had been one of the most dramatic matches of the era. A true epic.

Unfortunately there had to be a loser. Fortunately for me it was Verdasco

I do hope the final is not a dampener. With a fresh Federer crushing a tired Nadal (i'm saying that inspite of Nadal having a better head to head record in Grand Slam Finals)

So Nadal go for it.. Don't give up easily. Your trademark persistence will pay-off (like he is gonna read this)!!!

Rafa The Writer???

2009-01-29T22:40:00.004+05:30

With a golden mane, a long face structure and at six feet one inch, the Tarzan look alike i'm talking about is Rafael Nadal. The world No 1. He has set up an all Spanish Semi at the Australian Open. Am not amazed at him being there. His sporting skills i have never questioned. His rivalry with Federer has been more than thrilling.

Right now he is doing everything right on the court(touch wood). what i'm surprised at are his literary skills. i had been ignorant about his blogging till it came in one of the newspapers highlighting that he will be writing his "digital diary" everyday during the Australian Open.

There was a very sweet bit on one of the blogs where he says he is getting better at English, then goes on to apologise because he made a mistake with "his English" and then says it was his translator..

Dry and boring for most people. But for ardent Rafa fans its a nice sneak peek into what he does and how he does.

umm obviously I'm gonna be following (when i get time)..

Mixed Emotions...

2009-01-29T21:43:00.004+05:30

A study in Washington suggests people who experience mixed emotions (the feeling of positive and negative emotions) are more creative people.. and the psychologists go on to explain that such people interpret the experience as a signal that they are in an unusual environment and respond to it by creative thinking.

Another study says that people remember occasions with mixed emotions are not remembered as well as those where the felt singally happy or sad.. obvious isn't it.. because we tend to rely less on the episodic memory of emotional experience. We are uncomfortable with mixed emotions. We want to resolve the conflicts. Thereby we fade the emotional intensity.

and there is my theory.. that mixed emotions are a result of "lack of emotional persistence". We react differently to the same situation at different times. We react differently to different situations at the same time..

there is really nothing deep to be lost in thought. there is no strange philosophy. the nuance of emotion is that "you can like and hate a person at the same time"

just be sure of how you handle your mixed emotions.. let it not make a mix of anything else..

..........

2009-01-24T03:32:00.000+05:30

what is the cognitive state of mind when u feel you've done something you shouldn't have.. the feeling that wouldn't go away.. the feeling of having hurt someone very dear(or getting them angry)... the feeling of remorse... the "brick on the conscious".. the perception of being wrong in the conscious an sub conscious state of mind..

uummm.. i guess that pang of emotion is called guilt.. something i'm currently experiencing..

once i told my friend "dash the guilt and throw it out of the window" and she said it ain't that easy.. well however trivial that matter is.. probably highly insignificant and easily forgettable.. today i agree that it ain't that easy to dash the guilt and throw it out of the window..

the least i could do to sooth my conscious was to apologize to that dear one i hurt.. i did.. profusely and genuinely but the guilt doesn't seem to go away...

Possessiveness..

2009-01-14T22:59:00.001+05:30

i got a text which said that "possessiveness does not arise because we do not trust someone but because we cannot imagine our life without them.." and i just starting thinking about it..

and as usual i checked the dictionary.. the dictionary defines possessiveness as "Having or manifesting a desire to control or dominate another, especially in order to limit that person's relationships with others." Um.. does that sound good??? the tendency to feel possessive is totally natural but there is a huge difference between being and acting possessive.. most have the opinion that personal freedom and choice are of utmost importance.. but for all though..

Possessiveness is the underlying reason that otherwise sane person totally insane... and possessiveness is not found only in a romantic relationship where there might be a degree of insecurity forming the base of this emotion...

but look a toddler... try taking his mum away from him and you'll hear him wailing, screaming and probably he'd attempt to beat you up.. and toddlers are possessive not only about their mums but also about their toys...

but the toddler is just learning isnt he???

relationships collapse because of possessiveness overdrive and power struggle.. actions in a relationship can never be reasoned out.. the joys and happiness are meant to be shared and not limited like a piece of cake or cookie.. not being over-possessive is a lesson and learning in life that requires conscious effort from our part to put in practise..

in any relationship it should not be sought to take over the other person's life.. rather enhance it..

My cute adorable little baby brother..:)

2009-01-12T22:26:00.004+05:30

i dint stare at him sleeping in his crib.. i dint feed him baby food... i dint hide away his G I Joes (if he ever played with them) i never tried to break his gun into two... there are no nostalgic thoughts about his childhood.. but truly there is a highly creative image..

what i always wanted was a younger sister and younger brother.. and God has been really kind to give me a likeness of both.. anyways today i'm all pepped up to write about my adorable little baby brother..

ok for firsts i got a fully grown baby brother.. thats exactly the reason i dint get to hide his toys.. or better still break them.. nor did i get to feed him baby food.. well i'm definitely going to attempt make him taste my cooking.. (he calls me the worlds best cook even without tasting my cooking.. think thats the only reason he has the guts to do so.. he wouldn't have the audacity to that after experiencing my culinary skills).. :P

Secondly.. my little baby brother aint really little.. he is a good six inches taller than me..

and the best way to describe him is to compare him to a coconut (he'll kill me if he reads this) but he truly is like that.. with a rugged exterior.. someone you wouldnt really expect to have a lot of emotion and sensitivity.. but like soft whiteness of the coconut he is a true delight to know.. he listens to you like he doesnt know to talk.. he'd let you pour out all you want.. and then give you the most sensible and practical solution..and really him owe him loads for the innumerable times he has heard me crib and blabber on and then drive sense into my head..:)

and you know what is better.. he listens and doesnt forget.. he remembers exactly what you tell him.. no matter how irrelevant that is to him..

he hates the kind of movies i watch.. but never misses out to tell me when one of my kind is on air.. uh.. its a different story that he cannot imagine life without television.. (not many can imagine life without their first love.. can they??)

he cant take non-sense but bears my senseless company with no utterance of irritation...

and if Pablo Picasso and Leonardo da vinci were put together also i dont think they could paint as beautifully as he does.. and trust me i cannot over exaggerate his artistic skills.. he is the best.. and i have proof of that right in my bed room..

thats my little adorable baby brother.. truly cute.. and irresistibly sweet..

we are polar opposites at many things (actually most) but there are many beliefs and values that we have in common..

Thanks lil bro.. :)

Pink carnations....

2009-01-03T14:56:00.002+05:30

Dear, Delicate, Durable.. there is only one thing that comes to mind.. the most anciently cultivated beautiful carnations... and not just any carnations but the pretty pink ones.. the scientific name of the flower literally translates into "flower of love" or "flower of the Gods" may be thats why it has been revered for so long..

Legend has it that when Jesus carried the cross, the Virgin Mother Mary wept, and where her tears fell on the ground, the first carnations sprang up!! thus making the carnations a symbol of mother's undying love.. though i'm not too sure about the basis of this legend in Christian mythology..

i saw the most beautiful bunch of pink carnations ever about a week ago... and to describe them in words is highly improbable.. but it spread a smile across my face and i wish i had stopped to buy them.. well its all together a different story that i dint have cash on me to buy them nor did i have anyone to them for me..

Fragrant and fabulous, they are enough to lift up my spirits when i'm low and the colour pink echos perfect happiness and thankfulness... the strong sentiments that the pink flower expresses is a perfect compliment to its long lasting beauty...

an i'm still waiting for my bunch.. :P

This Christmas - Part IV

2008-12-26T10:37:00.000+05:30

PART IV

There was an immediate connect between the two of them.. Communication is as stimulating as black coffee; and its just as hard to sleep after.. that is the perfect description of the experience the two of them had for the following two weeks... she could speak to him like she could to no other.. and of course the feeling was mutual... there was no dependency derivative of the way their emotions were characterised for each other...

and she wondered was it a mere coincidence that she met him?? or was it a celestial conspiracy?? or was it just one of Cupid's cruel pranks...

Christmas had gone past and the Church was back to being her haven.. but was it hers alone??? as she sat reading the last few pages of her book.. (the ones where the drama resonates and the "happy ending".. Steve quietly came by and sat beside her.. "oops i dint realise when you came" she said with a smile.. "not a long while ago.. dint want to intrude into the satisfaction of the story culminating into a happy ending" and she thought "never could you intrude"...

he waited for her to finish the book... and then he said "i want to ask you something"..
"well go on"
"have you heard the parable of the beautiful heart?" he asked..
the blankness on her face told him she hadn't.... so began telling her the story.. he couldn't have gotten more cliched she thought.. because he began "once upon a time".. it brought a smile to her face nonetheless... :)

he told her about a young man who boasted of having the most beautiful heart in the world.. it was flawless... and everyone admired it.. but then an old man walked up to him and said that he had a more beautiful heart.. the young man asked him if he was joking because his heart was full of scars and tears... and the old man explained that every scar represents the person to whom he had given his love.. and sometimes the person hasn't returned the love which is represented by the empty gouges.. which remind him of the love he has for those people.. and that is true beauty..

tears swelled up in her eyes.. and he looked to her and said.. "you have the most beautiful heart in the world.. your love is unfathomable..." he paused... took her hand and said "give me a chance.. give me a chance to love you... love you so much so as to fill all the empty gouges"....

With tears of joy she said "I do.."

This Christmas - Part III

2008-12-24T15:22:00.000+05:30

PART - III

" hi.. i'm steve... i was just wondering.." she cut him in ansd asked "what"
"well i come to the Church often enough.. ive seen many people giving the beggars money.. or left over food.. but today was the first time i saw someone giving away their freshly packed lunch.."
oblivious to the fact that he was looking.. she took out her freshly packed lunch and gave it to the old lady who came to her begging for some money...

breaking the silence he said "i thought that was really sweet" she dint know what to say.. but to avoid further conversation she said a polite thank you and continued reading.. he kept looking at her.. and she continued to read pretending not to notice.. but ofcourse she couldn't concentrate on what she was reading.. she urged to tell him ,"dude why don't you just go on and mind your business"

she looked up to tell him just that.. but she looked straight into his eyes.. his brown coffee eyes.. and there was something which told her there is more to him than meets the eye.. "so what kind of books do you read??.." the conversation began.. and on it went.. suddenly realising she was late for work... and she left for work.. but not before there was the expected exchange of mobile numbers and a smiling see you soon...

to be contd...

This Christmas - Part II

2008-12-22T22:12:00.000+05:30

PART - II

and with the smirky smile he communicated "i know what the superstition associated with the mistletoe is". and with flushed red cheeks she left.

walking to her favourite spot in vast opens of the Church..categorising the guy as the typical one moms told their darling daughters to stay away.. she sat.. as usual with her novel.. to read in peace.. but peace was elusive...

his image with that smile on his face was frozen in her mind.. she couldn't see anything beyond.. and not like that was enough to keep her distracted for atleast a week.. he walked up to her and asked if she would mind if he sat beside her.. and it was just one of the times when she couldn't say a no...

he sat there beside her.. and she continued to read her book.. with no sign to show how perturbed she was.. calm and ease were the only emotions she displayed.. and then the inevitable happened... he began a conversation...

uh thankfully it wasn't the stereotype "have we met earlier?" or "do i know you".. sweetly introducing himself he said "hi.. i'm...

to be contd...

This Christmas???

2008-12-18T21:59:00.000+05:30

PART - I

She had a twinkle in her eyes.. like the twinkle of the stars she loved staring at.. her motto in life was to lover never to be loved.. to give never to receive.. but she wanted love.. she was a hopelessly romantic and hopeless dreamer.. a dreamer who dreamt of the perfect fairytale in her life.. just like the ones she had read as she grew up...

it was the season of Christmas.. and she loved it.. she loved everything about it.. it was the season of sharing, caring and joy.. the time she decorated her room.. Put up a sock on the window hoping Santa would reward her for being a good girl the whole year through (that never did happen.. but she never gave up)... the Christmas tree and everything it signified..

she loved going to the Church.. her simple way of finding solace and serenity...

and habitual as it had become.. one day on the way out of the Church she stopped at the door and turned to look at the Cross.. when she turned back she saw him...with beautiful flowers in his hands and their eyes locked (it was like a scene right out of a masala Bollywood movie). He looked up with a smirky smile.. and instinctively she did too... Shocked she was to see a mistletoe there..

to be contd...

can u love me???

2008-12-18T21:53:00.000+05:30

Can you ever love me for me..

the real me.. the true me..

with all my imperfections and fallacies...

with me as i am... not as you want me to be...

can you love me even i'm unreasonable..

when i'm stubborn

and cry without a reason??

can you ever love me for the real me

can you ever???

Really???

2008-12-16T11:49:00.000+05:30

the movie bug is back... my friend saw rab ne bana di jodi.. and ofcourse unlike me gave a highly negative review.. she said "Shahrukh was confused.. what did he actually want?" and very instinctively i told her he wanted the girl to fall in love with the real him...

that sparked a thought.. in this world of plastic smiles and plastic emotion.. where is the real me? the queen in snow white asked the mirror "Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" but what do i see when i try to reflect myself? who do i see?? who is the real me?? do i really exist? or am i lost in the superficial cares of the world?

quite an irony that i'm trying to find the real me considering i'm anonymous..

but i think it is a process.. the real me has just lost the way around.. but i'm sure i'll find the way out... and the rediscovery of self will start soon...

Complexed...

2008-12-14T10:24:00.000+05:30

Why do i find myself alone when i need support?? why do i have to weather a storm when i seek solace.. why should i manifest the truth when truth should reveal itself?? why does the society and civilisation created for security become a cause for insecurity?? why is confidence shattered like glass, becoming improbable to rebuild?? why does panic strike and one sense anxiety?? why do i find on a psychoanalysis, feeling of "the blues", melancholy, disinterestedness, apathy, boredom, indecision, hesitation and doubt??

what do you call this vague psychological problem where one has saintly humility, the will to be right,and the ability to do so, and the confidence to stand up, but belligerent argumentativeness, absence of a courageous affirmation, a fallacious attitude??

Dont look for an answer i dont know.. if i knew i would not have asked the question..

i may suffer from an inferiority complex.. but i have a superiority complex too.. because as Eleanor Roosevelt said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". And adapting from what my friend says.. i am who i am and what i am.. if you cant handle me at my worst.. you sure dont deserve at my best..

JINXED

2008-12-13T19:02:00.000+05:30

I'm jinxed, i sure am...
i dont why but i know i am.
rotten it is.. but thats just my luck
too much of a co-incidence to have
things all in a muck..

A superstition or a curse
or am i tempting fate???
for good things to happen late
and misfortune become my mate...

Like "Friday the thirteenth" i'm hexed too..
Leaving me not only vexed about also perplexed...
i wonder if if i'll ever be able to break the spell
and that only time will tell...

Insecure.. who me???

2008-12-12T21:52:00.000+05:30

I finally i think i know what is wrong..

i thought its just the cyclical mood swings.. but now i guess there is more to it.. the emotional insecurity and the paranoia... the lack of unconditional love (which really is notional because i know i have parents and friends who love me for who i am, or atleast i hoping so), the feeling that my flaws are camouflaged than my redeeming qualities.. its just that period where the resilience to handle pressure has broken and the defence mechanism crumbled...

the problem has presented itself at the surface.. but what is the root of the problem?? I dont know.. or.. may be i do.. but just dont want to talk about it..

chasing the image of perfection has led to judgment and self-rejection. inspite of success there is no sense of Euphoria only the feel of "not being good enough".

it is not as if there is lack of confidence but its the inability to dissolve the "ideal image of perfection", something that has stolen the joy from little things in life.. from a hearty laughter, from a cup of coffee, from silly stupid fights.. from the brightness of my favourite flowers..

the remedies that usually work.. reading my inbox.. watching my favourite movies.. a sweet melody.. and freaky conversation... reading a book.. nothing seems to work..

but as they say and i'm sure "This too shall pass"...

Mountain Story - An interesting short story i read

2008-12-10T22:34:00.000+05:30

"A son and his father were walking on the mountains.Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"He receives the answer: "Who are you?"And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!"The voice answers: "I admire you!"Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"He receives the answer: "Coward!"He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention."Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"The voice answers: "You are a champion!"The boy is surprised, but does not understand.Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.It gives you back everything you say or do.Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life;Life will give you back everything you have given to it."

this is a story i read sometime back and i think it is a completely apt one to what i feel right now..

YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S A REFLECTION OF YOU!"-- Unknown Author

2008-12-09T21:52:00.000+05:30

What do you do when no one sees your point of view, and even better dont even try... they way you feel natural easy and pure like sunlight from the sun... and to top it all emotional attitude being highly negative??? when you dont find a calming warming and loving influence... when sorry does not seem to take the guilt away.. when life has so much to offer but your plate is already too full...

Reality is "that which appears to be" but what appears to me does not to anyone else..

what do you do when no one agrees with your interpretations and perceptions??

when your brain is propelled with the explosion of thoughts and your heart with feelings??

when you cant communicate and be vocal??? of course no one is being receptive!!!

i know its abstract.. but.. when nothing seems to being right.. take a detour... so dont try finding me..

Did he deserve a second chance???

2008-12-05T22:23:00.000+05:30

life does not always give a second chance... and being a victim of that myself i thought i was being nice in giving him a second chance... a chance to redeem himself and wipe away that hurt he gave.. nobody is perfect.. and to err is human.. life is too short to hold grudges.. and so i decided to forgive and move on.. start afresh.. but then history does repeat itself.. and too soon at that..
and then when i read somewhere i realised "first time shame on him, second time shame on you, for being so stupid tio let him back knowwing he'd already done it once"

and now.. i turned the page, turned the chapter and closed the book.. but the thought remains.. "did he deserve a second chance???"

Thank You...

2008-11-27T20:53:00.000+05:30

its thanksgiving tomorrow... and i know its a very American tradition... but considering the events over the last couple of days... i think its a perfect time for me to give thanks...

Well a couple of days back... i sought shelter at a church.. shelter from the heavy rains and strong winds... standing at the church the only hymn that came to my mind was " Count your blessings, name them one by one and it will surprise you what the Lord has done"... it actually did..

its not like i was not grateful for a wonderful family and a home for solace.. but i am doubly grateful for both now... for a home where i can seek solace.. and family who i can fall back upon... parents who love me for who i am.. who put up with all my non-sense and unreasonable demands (well i've never had any) and torture (my friend claims i'm a torture :( )

and after i've thanked god for the wonderful family he's given me... its time to thank him for my friends... and six special friends at that..

the first who i know right from kindergarten... today we might be in different paths in life.. but if there is someone who i could have and can trust my life with is her.. she understands me like the back of her hand.. can understand what i never say.. if i managed to pass through my college years without too much trouble its just because of her...

the second.. my aunt.. well she got married to my uncle when i was in the second grade.. and from then to now she has always been my friend and guide.. filled the void of an elder sister.. and been there always...

the third my dumb friend who i know from kindergarten too.. but the bonds of friendship strengthened in high school.. we are mutual secret keepers :) and even if i dont speak to her in a long long time (because we have totally different routines) i know she 's always there... a truly special and cute friend...

the fourth and fifth are two little kids (well atleast according to me and i know i have support too) who are like my little baby sisters.. i totally adore them.. put with all their non-sense(or is it the other way round) i'm not too sure.. but whatever it is... they are really special... the amount they done for me is phenomenal (especially to get me out of my bad moods)

the sixth is a stupid donkey and dog of a friend... who i have no words to describe... its not really a very long time since i know him (i dont consider one year a very long period). but he's a great friend and an awesome person... who has put up all my bad jokes :P and stupid mood swings and cranky behaviour..

its a special thank you to each of these people and to all my other friends who have filled my life
with love and laughter...
HAPPY THANKSGIVING... :)

Flirting with danger???

2008-11-24T11:32:00.000+05:30

i had this discussion cum argument with my friend over the definition of flirting.. According to him flirting can never be one-sided and is always reciprocated.. so i decided to do some research to prove my point..

i started with the definition of flirting, which happened to say that flirting is human interaction with a romantic interest.. so here goes my first point.. two people can interact with each other.. where one has a romantic interest and the other does not :P

then i looked at the origin of the word flirting, which is obscure and is attributed to the old French conter fleurette, which means the dropping of flower petals, that is, "to speak sweet nothings".. so there goes point number two... speak "sweet nothings".. one person can do the speaking.. the other may not.. :P

and then there is point number three flirting is used to as an expression of interest or gauging the other person's interest.. but you know what the other person may not be interested at all..

so what i really learnt by reading all that i did.. is that flirting may be one-sided and you may not really be interested...

Most of the times we spot the indications of flirting.. but sometimes considering it harmless we let the other person have some fun..but unlike the law where silence does not amount to acceptance.. if you do not put a stop to that one-sided interaction which you are not interested it does amount to acquiescence...and that can turn out to be a little dangerous..

Though i think i proved my point that flirting can be one-sided.. ill remember the line my stupid friend told me last night.. "its all about how you react" because unknowingly you might send out the wrong signals...

Keep me going???

2008-11-21T20:37:00.000+05:30

Its just one of those "off days" actually to be very precise the second "off day" in a row.. Emptiness has no words... but that's the axiom I'm trying to disprove.. trying to dissolve my emptiness in words... its becoming like a natural state of being for me these days... i know i have a family that adores me.. Friends who care... and many who appreciate... but its just that many times there is feeling that there is more "ingenuinity" around me than true love and care...

Its not about high expectations and a demanding role that has left me feeling this way.. i have always believed in age old teaching of the Bhagavad Gita

"Karmanya vadhikaraste ma phleshu kadaachanma

karmphal heturbhurma te sango astav akarmani"

which means your right is only to do your duty, and not to its fruit or result. Neither the result of your action should be your motive, nor should you become inactive.

I have always believed in it and tried my human best to practise it.. but sometimes its really difficult not to expect something in return.. and as most people would agree having expectations from someone else is asking for disappointment..

There is a cognitive dissonance in my mind about what i want to do...no desire to express what i feel, (because truly i can't) and then there is again a tug of war between the head and the heart..

for now I'm trying to remind myself to do my duty.. to love and care.. to help and share...it should keep me going at least for the time.. and when I'm in a better state of mind I'll work on my cognitive dissonance..

2008-11-19T10:22:00.000+05:30

Hypermetropia..... it is a long name for long sightedness.. thats how i always tried remembering that for my science exam.. but now i realize that long sightedness is not only the defect of the eye.. but many times even the defect of the mind... we look at the future.. try our very best to provide for it.. we forget that we can count the number of seeds in an apple but not the number of apples in a seed.. no one knows what the future holds..

whats the point in sitting and worrying oneself over something we have no control over.. we always see that which is close to us with a blurry vision not realizing that the happiness we are craving for is very close to us... look around yourself and you'll find...

happiness is no mystery it is here , it is now, it is you and me is....

London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

2008-11-17T14:17:00.000+05:30

Interesting and sadly very true.

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

DOStana...

2008-11-15T17:47:00.000+05:30

ok i know i am a really crazy hindi movie bug.. and i can watch almost any silly stupid emotional saga... and i went for dostana last night.. as most already knew.. and so did i... that its gonna be a typical Kjo candyfloss... well it in a true sense was.. what most say about the movie is that the "Kanta Ben" comedy is the crux of the story.. it is..

the movie has its element of freshness (shock value as many would call it), fun, frolic and dollops of entertainment...

But what i loved about the movie the most were two scenes... the first scene is the interval scene where ab and priyanka say their lives are not what they had dreamt and that they are losers.. driving the other two to frustration.. john says his life is perfect.. and their tears turn to smiles when he tell them that his life is perfect because he has them for friends in his life.. the scene may not touch many.. but too me it was really important... it reminded me what my friends mean to me.. how much colour they have added to my life... and just enough spice to make life perfect..

the second bit that was really touchy was the ending of the movie.. where john and ab are desparate for priyanka's forgiveness and are ready to anythin.. bobby deol challenges them to kiss each other in public.. well ya.. they did... but to me that frame had more than just the kiss.. it was the sentiment that drove them to do it.. the passion they had for that relationship of freindship.. that they discared all social boundaries.. ignored embarrasment and did what they did.. the scene may have its advocates and adverseries... but all i can say is that every realtionship should have the passion that this had..

Happy Children's Day

2008-11-14T12:14:00.000+05:30

Childhood is all about those angelic eyes, innocent smiles.. lolipops and chocolates..the silly playfulness.. the carefree singing... the cute hugs.. meaningless fights that don't last.. the curiosity to know everything... the confidence to ask stupid questions and not feel dumb... the pure delight of a cold ice cream ticking the tongue.. the infectious laughter..those days in school.. the games hour and the after hour.. the clean and crisp uniform at the start of the day an then.... that was when life was simpler...

But as we grow up... each of these tend to fade away.. they fade away and make way for that self centered hugely boosted ego.. the stress trying to quest the pinnacles of success and glory... with no time to stand and stare at the beauty of life.. no time for near and dear ones.. that is how we made life duller..

Just a flashback to those days brings a radiant smile on most of our faces... then why have we complicated our lives to such an extent that the smile on our lips does not get reflected in our eyes..

Our life is all about our choices... why is it then that we don't make the choice to have that innocent and angelic smile.. why can't we see joys in those simple things in life??

it just reminds me of a poem i taught my little sister

WHAT is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?—

No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows:

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night:

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance:

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began?

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

What is this life full of care??? leave yourself loose and enjoy the funfair...

2008-11-13T21:53:00.000+05:30

Today is the 539th birthday of Gure Nank Dev Ji the founder of the world's youngest religion.. well for most of the central government offices it was a day off... but for the followers of the religion.. it was a day huge funfair an fervour... it began with most of them offering prayers, singing songs and hymns from the Guru Granth Sahib... followed by what the kids (or atleast i love the most) the Karawah Prasad.. thats the traditional sikh sweet pudding.. and then the langar food...

Guru Nanak Ji was is a great prophet of peace. His teachings breathe the purest spirit of devotion. The love of God and the love of man were the very core of the message of Guru Nanak. We need to learn to serve the poor gently, quietly, and to have reverence for all the saints of the past. This is the first great teaching of the Guru. Guru Nanak's teachings revolutionized people in diverse ways. His teachings are of great interest today as they were in his own time.

The Guru on Babar's (the mughal king) request gave him his advise called Nasihat Nama in which he counseled ' worship God everyday and to be just and kind to everyone. The NAAM, the Sat Naam, the holy Word of God or the Kalma, was a panacea for all ills of life, here and in the hereafter.'

He founded no new sect. He revered all religions. He respected the saints of all times and places. He taught no new creed. He preached love, faith and noble deeds. For him all the people were of God. In the Hindus and in the Muslims, he saw the Vision of God in Man. In all the nations of the world, he beheld an endless procession of the race of man. To all countries and to all people, he sang the song of NAAM or the Holy Word.

Nanak was the prophet of peace and good will, harmony and unity. He was the prophet of Light and gave Light to all for seventy long years

The simplest way to pay tribute to the Guru his to follow is teachings.

Love knows no reward. It is a reward in itself. Service and sacrifice characterize love.

Do your duty.. towards your family and your community.. lead a pure and moral life.. full of noble deeds and kind words..

May the Guru's blessings be with you.

who wants to be millionaire???

2008-11-11T22:56:00.000+05:30

i just read this book called "the millionaires" which is apparently a thriller about how two brothers try to steal three million dollars from a bank supposedly belonging to no one... its a perfect crime... its foolproof and no one knows... but suddenly they have the American secret service and a personal investigators at their back...

as i finished the book i was thinking what most people would do in a situation like that... a situation where there is a vulnerable mix of desperation and frustration... would you steal if you would never get caught.. if you are saying no.. then what if i increased that amount of three million to thirty million or perhaps a hypothetical best three hundred million.. would you??

if you said yes.. you're being mighty honest but if you're saying NO... then im sure that's only a hypothetical NO in nine of ten cases.. because its human instinct to go for it... the fact the guilt would go into overdrive and not let you live are variables that come into play later.. but at that point of time.. the split second of a time that you have at hand.. what would you do... and no dont say you dont have the nerve to do it..

think about it.. the perfect crime.. three hundred million dollars.. all in the taking... to bring freedom from all the financial misery... i would have fallen for it!!! would you have???

Monday morning blues...

2008-11-10T20:01:00.000+05:30

Garfield hates Monday mornings.. so do i.. and so do most people... maniac Monday morning blues has affected most people since ages... but this Monday was not the usual Monday morning blues.. it had nothing to do with dragging myself to work... or that there was a whole week to work... this Monday was bluer than usual...

and don't ask me why.. because i don't know... it was not lack of sleep.. or a mount of pending work.. it was something else.. something was wrong.. but i could not really point a finger at it... it left me stressed out... stressed out right at the start of the week... and to top it all.. my schedule started with the work i hate the most.. but having no choice i went about doing it...

uh.. i finished up earlier than usual.. and then i decided it was time to bust the stress... plugging in my head phones.. i took my bike and sped off... twenty kms and an hour later.. i felt much better... much better about myself and the whole world around me... not completely stress free... but at least I'm no longer going to snap at someone and then regret it... its really amazing what some good music and a nice bike ride in a beautiful background with some chilly weather can do to our mood...

yesterday my life was duller.. now everything is technicolour...:)

2008-11-09T22:27:00.000+05:30

Is there a science that can deal with the physical and metaphysical forces of the environment to make it peaceful and harmonious??? my office landlord definitely thinks so...

when he decided to get the exteriors of the building painted there was a rush of excitement in all of us.. Colours are the most powerful in influencing human mind and body...of course.. considering the boring the building we entered into everyday.. the very thought of a nice bright building excited us...that too considering the present day scenario where you have colour palletes that you can almost fall in love with... we though were in for a surprise.. whether pleasant one or otherwise we'll find out soon...

the topic in discussion at office was the colour that the landlord would chose... and there was shock number one.. parrot green.. well shocking as it was that was not all.. only a part of the building was done before we started seeing buckets of other colours coming.. believe it or not.. he brought in a variety of colours... he has painted every single cm of the exteriors...ranging from that parrot green to the "mithai pink" and cyan blue and process yellow... well the list goes on and one... that is when we thought that he was over obsessed with the rainbow... i don't think i can over exaggerate.. but the building now has possibly a shade of all colours including the ones missing on the rainbow..

on a lighter note though i bet soon the most popular time pass to kill work stress is going to be the childish "colour, colour which colour do you choose??"

the excitement has all died down.. we are all sulking back to work... with a though is change really good???

Yours or mine????

2008-11-08T13:01:00.000+05:30

"its my perception, what is your problem?" i'm sure most of us would be guilty of having used the phrase mostly out of sheer frustration... and ten out of ten times we think we are right... but is that always the case?? are we always right.. its humorous enough to say "the only time i was wrong was the time i thought i was wrong" but that's not reality... each person is entitled to their opinion and their views.. it's how they perceive a particular situation or person...

if each person is entitled to such freedom of perception then isn't it our duty to respect this freedom... well.. of course it is.. but what do you do when two people have significantly different perceptions of the same situation.. different feelings and different emotions???

Most of the time we argue just to prove that our perception is right... there is a famous Buddhist parable which goes like this "two students argued and argued about their understanding of a lesson the teacher had taught in class, they finally decided to let the teacher judge who is right and who is wrong. the first student explained to the teacher what his understanding of the lesson was, and teacher said he was right.. the first student left the room with a triumphant expression on his face... the second student then explained his understanding.. and the teacher said that he was right too.. he also left the room feeling victorious... a third student who had seen what happened asked the teacher how could both of them be right when each had contradicting views.. the teacher told him that he too was right..."

Well we might have different, in fact opposing perceptions to same situation.. but the trick is to understand that the other person's perception is as important to him as yours is to you..

who will win the tug of war?? the head or the heart???

2008-11-06T22:13:00.000+05:30

she had to choose... choose between the devil and the deep blue sea... she was confused.. should she listen to the logic of the head or the longing of heart... what should she do when both are pulling her apart... pulling her apart in different directions... the head with sound and practical logic and her heart with truthfully emotional reasoning.. she thought and thought.."People are governed by the head; a kind heart is of little value in chess" but is life a game of chess???
"the heart is wiser than the intellect" but is it really??? can u rely on the judgment of your heart even if logic and caution tell you otherwise?? she moved in circles.. never really knowing where she was going.. confused, indecisive and very very tearful..

She pondered, visualised and kept her cool.. she thought and analysed.. weighed pros and cons.. but solution was no where in sight..

and then she read somewhere... Follow your heart.. but. listen to your head... and at that instance she thought everything was crystal clear... was she right??? she doesn't know.. and mark my words.. she won't find out very soon either...

Her First Crush

2008-11-04T21:41:00.000+05:30

There is an old an well-heard saying that you never get over your first love. Is that true even for "the first infatuation/crush"??

Well 6 years ago it was when she believed that "the first impression is the best impression" and a little feeling cropped up in her heart... how can someone be like this?? perfect.. well at least almost perfect... responsible, smart, attractive, intelligent, energetic, humorous, sensitive... name it and he has had the quality... at least that is what she thought... from the minute he spoke to her she was highly impressed.. it was obviously a child admiring the qualities of a mature adult... but she was mature too.. she knew what it was.. her first crush.. a little late by normal standards.. but that is what it was.. she enjoyed talking to him.. cracking a joke.. learning from him.. or just being around him.. and then he left.. she dint know where...

What she felt was a feeling that most would say wouldn't last more than a couple of months... and she... pinned her heart and kept it safe...

And a few years later he was back..

Six years later... even now.. when she sees him... her heart races... a flush of embarrassment.. and she still insists that its a childish infatuation.. six years is by no mean standards a short term...

Is it but just a childish infatuation??? Um.. i guess so... a strong one though... she never denies the strong and positive feeling she felt.. she of course still likes him.. a person whose qualities she appreciates.. ask her about him.. and you'll still find her blushing.... may be its true.. that it doesn't really have to be love.. but she still remembers it all.. probably for all her life.. because it was special.. her first thrill of emotion to have liked someone... or is it because he was so special??? that i guess is a question which even she will be unable to answer...

Isn't that what most call a sweet and innocent first crush???

When life gives you lemons...

2008-11-01T23:40:00.000+05:30

Why cant I do what i want to?? the way Ii want to??? why do I have to succumb to others expectations??? why cant I live the how I want to??? why is life so hard sometimes?? why does it seem like a test I can never pass???

Is it true that unfairness of life builds character??? I don really care if it does.. I can construct my character well enough myself!!

They say "if life hands you lemons, make lemonade; if it gives you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys" it sounds simple.. make the best of what you get.. but it ain't as simple to do.. buts what would be simpler.. "when life gives you chocolate, make chocolate milkshake" but life doesn't always give you chocolates does it?? I know life is not meant to be all hunky dory but wen life gives you 5 blows in a row.. it is a little difficult to remain optimistic... life seems like a constant battle and nothing seems to be going right..

I wish I can turn the sour lemon into sweet lemonade.

Giveth...

2008-10-31T11:06:00.000+05:30

Giveth with all thy heart;
'cos giving with all thy heart is an art.
Love, affection, compassion, weigh more
than gold and silver galore.

Give without a desire to receive
and no one you will deceive.
Like "Mercy" everything is blessed twice;
that which is given without a price.

Give love not hate.. Give thanks and praise...
Passion and compassion..
So honestly trust that it may touch;
"Because he is blessed, the one who giveth
and the one who receiveth"

Trust.....

2008-10-29T20:33:00.000+05:30

It was meant to be a taunt when i told my friend that I don't trust him... but that left me thinking about it for a long time...

What is Trust??? Is just the reliance on another?? not really.. its not just the reliance.. it is the ability to share.. share dreams.. ambitions.. fears...telling the truth without the other being skeptic about it.. the repose of confidence and the belief in their judgement...

The foundation stone of a relationship. No relationship can survive without trust.... but building trust is easier said than done... building trust requires hard work and commitment.. but more than anything else it requires complete honesty.. you need to listen and communicate your needs.. there is no beating around the bush when it comes to building a strong relation.. put forth honestly and effectively what you feel.. The simplest way to trust a person is to accept them for who they are...

Trust elevates commitment... sustains performance... and creates harmony.. in every relationship.. whether a familial, romantic, friendly or professional..

There are many people who can trust others very easily.. while there are others who have trouble trusting people... many a times there an be trust on a complete stranger.. and you never know why!!!

Someone once asked "why do trust me?" and pat came the reply... "Trusting you was my decision and proving me right is your choice".. if someone trusts you try and ensure that you prove them right.. because if trusting is difficult; rebuilding trust is twice as difficult.. but then “Trust is like a vase.. once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again.”

Express yourself...

2008-10-27T23:39:00.000+05:30

Not long ago.. i wrote about weighing our words.. thinking before we speak... and here i am presenting its corollary... i know it sounds very cliche after being Airtel's tag line.. "Express Yourself"..

There have been innumerable occasions when we feel strongly about something but let it stay within ourselves..our dreams.. our thoughts.. our ideas.. our ambitions.. our emotions... Vent it let the other person know how you feel.. Because till you don't say it, it is more than likely that the other person wont know how you feel...

How many times has a small misunderstanding lead to an argument, an argument into a fight.. and ultimately to an out of hand situation.. all that was a little talking and a little listening... Airtel was right again when they said "talking breaks barriers" but talking not breaks but also prevents barriers..

When was the last time you told your mom a "thank you" or gave her a compliment for all she's done for you??? When was the last time you told your dad "I'm there don't worry"??? when did you tell your siblings that "you care"?? when was the last time you told your spouse you love them dearly???

There are many who argue that true love and care doesn't need words.. it can be felt.. but today in this fast moving world of cut throat competition and superficial relationships sometimes our loved ones need to hear the genuine word of love care... and see the smile on their face and the sparkle in their eyes..

As Madonna says..

"You don't need diamond rings

Or eighteen karat gold

Fancy cars that go very fast

You know they never last"

So don't hold it back... it may be a small thank you.. or a little sorry.. a hug... a sweet song.. or a simple i love you.. a small note.. a bunch of flowers.. or anything personalised for your loved one.. you don't have to be perfect.. if you feel it express it because that might be what the other person is waiting to hear.. Express Yourself and feel the difference..

Three Questions....

2008-10-22T18:37:00.000+05:30

It once occurred to a certain king, that if he always knew the right time to begin everything; if he knew who were the right people to listen to, and whom to avoid, and, above all, if he always knew what was the most important thing to do, he would never fail in anything he might undertake.
wishing to find the right answers to his questions, he decided to consult a hermit, widely renowned for his wisdom.
The hermit lived in a wood which he never quit and he received none but common folk. So the King put on simple clothes, and before reaching the hermit's cell dismounted from his horse, and, leaving his bodyguard behind, went on alone.
When the King approached, the hermit was digging the ground in front of his hut. Seeing the King, he greeted him and went on digging. The hermit was frail and weak, and each time he stuck his spade into the ground and turned a little earth, he breathed heavily.
The King went up to him and said: 'I have come to you, wise hermit, to ask you to answer three questions: How can I learn to do the right thing at the right time? Who are the people I most need, and to whom should I, therefore, pay more attention than to the rest? And, what affairs are the most important and need my first attention?'
The hermit listened to the King, but answered nothing. He just spat on his hand and recommenced digging.
'You are tired,' said the King, 'let me take the spade and work a while for you.'
'Thanks!' said the hermit, and, giving the spade to the King, he sat down on the ground.
When he had dug two beds, the King stopped and repeated his questions. The hermit again gave no answer, but rose, stretched out his hand for the spade, and said:
'Now rest awhile -- and let me work a bit.'
But the King did not give him the spade, and continued to dig. One hour passed, and another. The sun began to sink behind the trees, and the King at last stuck the spade into the ground, and said:
'I came to you, wise man, for an answer to my questions. If you can give me none, tell me so, and I will return home.'
'Here comes some one running,' said the hermit, 'let us see who it is.'
The King turned round, and saw a bearded man come running out of the wood. The man held his hands pressed against his stomach, and blood was flowing from under them. When he reached the King, he fell fainting on the ground moaning feebly. The King and the hermit unfastened the man's clothing. There was a large wound in his stomach.The King washed it as best he could, and bandaged it with his handkerchief and with a towel the hermit had. But the blood would not stop flowing, and the King again and again removed the bandage soaked with warm blood, and washed and rebandaged the wound. When at last the blood ceased flowing, the man revived and asked for something to drink. The King brought fresh water and gave it to him. Meanwhile the sun had set, and it had become cool. So the King, with the hermit's help, carried the wounded man into the hut and laid him on the bed. Lying on the bed the man closed his eyes and was quiet; but the King was so tired with his walk and with the work he had done, that he crouched down on the threshold, and also fell asleep -- so soundly that he slept all through the short summer night. When he awoke in the morning, it was long before he could remember where he was, or who was the strange bearded man lying on the bed and gazing intently at him with shining eyes.
'Forgive me!' said the bearded man in a weak voice, when he saw that the King was awake and was looking at him.
'I do not know you, and have nothing to forgive you for,' said the King.
'You do not know me, but I know you. I am that enemy of yours who swore to revenge himself on you, because you executed his brother and seized his property. I knew you had gone alone to see the hermit, And i resolved to kill you on your way back. But the day passed and youdid not return. So I came out from my ambush to find you, and I came upon your bodyguard, and they recognized me, and wounded me. I escaped from them, but should have bled to death had you not dressed my wound.I wished to kill you, and you have saved my life. Now, if I live, and if you wish it, I will serve you as your most faithful slave, and will bid my sons do the same. Forgive me!'
The King was very glad to have made peace with his enemy so easily, and to have gained him for a friend, and he not only forgave him, but said he would send his servants and his own physician to attend him, and promised to restore his property.
Having taken leave of the wounded man, the King went out into the porch and looked around for the hermit. Before going away he wished once more to beg an answer to the questions he had put. The hermit was outside, on his knees, sowing seeds in the beds that had been dug the day before.
The King approached him, and said:
'For the last time, I pray you to answer my questions, wise man.'
'You have already been answered!' said the hermit still crouching on his thin legs, and looking up at the King, who stood before him.
'How answered? What do you mean?' asked the King.
'Do you not see,' replied the hermit. 'If you had not pitied my weakness yesterday, and had not dug these beds for me, but had gone your way, that man would have attacked you, and you would have repented of not having stayed with me. So the most important time was when you were digging the beds; and I was the most important man; and to do me good was your most important business. Afterwards, when that man ran to us, the most important time was when you were attending to him, for if you had not bound up his wounds he would have died without having made peace with you. So he was the most important man, and what you did for him was your most important business. Remember then: "there is only one time that is important -- Now! It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power. The most necessary man is he with whom you are, for no man knows whether he will ever have dealings with any one else: and the most important affair is, to do him good, because for that purpose alone was man sent into this life! "

This is a Buddhist parable by Leo Tolstoy. And the simplicity with which it explains the philosophy of "When, What, How" is amazing. It is this basic understanding that we need to reduce our own suffering and realise our full potential of compassion and tranquility and the sense of happiness...
1903

Think before you speak....

2008-10-20T22:47:00.000+05:30

“Weigh your words” is not a futile one liner idiom. Communication is the most important aspect our relationship with others. Your words can either bring you happiness or come back to haunt you. It all depends on you. Like an arrow which has left the bow, words out from the mouth cannot be taken back. Sometimes words can hurt deeper than swords. “SORRY, I DIN’T MEAN THAT” doesn’t really always heal the wound harsh words leave. And by the way if you dint mean that couldn’t you be more thoughtful and considerate about the other persons feelings??

When we feel the emotion of anger, we are most likely to take it out on whoever is with us.. and if no one is we have the tendency to call someone and vent out our frustration.. and end up saying something we might regret..

You don’t really have to agree with everyone and everything all the time… but listen.. listen to their side of the story and then put forth your difference in opinion.. but thoughtfully and gently..

I know that there have been times when something has upset me and without thinking, I have lashed out at the person closest to me. I'm still learning how to be aware of my thoughts and language and keep in mind "Words are like fire, they can either warm or burn.."

2008-10-16T20:47:00.000+05:30

It is said that nature is the best teacher... an trust me it is... I'm sure there are innumerably large number of us who love going to the beach.. ever looked at the vast span of waters an wondered if its telling us something??? teaching us a simple lesson of life.. A simple lesson.. to relentlessly move ahead.. there are highs and there lows.. there storms and there is a calm... but we need to move on... move on till we reach the shores... but is that all??? is the shore the limit?? not at all.. move on to the next one.. life never comes to a standstill... live life to the fullest... don get bogged down by the challenges of life.. and Mark Twain said.."Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover"